“Kamala Harris is different from almost every other vice president because, while most presidents are in their 50s or 60s, Biden is a not-at-all spry 80 and looks increasingly like the Mummy.” That’s the lead crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap, an entire week’s worth of the best bad news.
Plus:
- The mask whingers have escalated to eugenics.
- We had to destroy the study to publish it.
- Biden stages a walkout on a Medal of Honor recipient.
Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.
How Long Can You Stand to Watch?
Tiktoker says if you don’t wear a mask, and are living your life regularly without Covid precautions in August 2023, it means you want people to die and you’re ableist pic.twitter.com/DKcKKtBUab
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) September 5, 2023
In this week’s “How Long Can You Stand to Watch?” challenge, I made it all of eight seconds before closing the tab with extreme prejudice. I know that’s weak, but the whinging was just too much.
How long did you last?
PJ’s own Chris Queen tells me that if you can make it to the 22-second mark, you’ll get a lesson on eugenics. So you’ve got that going for you. Which is not nice.
Kamala Harris Is ‘Ready’ to Replace Joe
Harris says she’s ready to step into role of president if Biden is unwell
Alleged Vice President Kamala Harris was speaking off the cuff again in Indonesia on Wednesday when, really, the White House would probably prefer it if she wouldn’t even speak on the cuff.
“On the cuff” is pure nonsense, of course, but still makes more sense than most anything Presidentish Joe Biden says when he’s off the teleprompter, and sometimes when he’s on it.
Fox News reported that Harris is ready to “fulfill her constitutional duty to assume the presidency should President Biden be unable to govern as questions swirl around his health and age.” Harris herself said that “Joe Biden is going to be fine,” so his dying or stepping aside is purely “hypothetical” and “not going to come to fruition.”
Nevertheless, Kamala Harris felt the need to remind us, perhaps out of pure sadism, that “every vice president — every vice president — understands that when they take the oath they must be very clear about the responsibility they may have to take over the job of being president.”
“I’m no different,” she concluded.
Actually, Kamala Harris is different from almost every other vice president because, while most presidents are in their 50s or 60s, Biden is a not-at-all spry 80 and looks increasingly like the Mummy.
I need a drink, and it’s barely 8 a.m. as I write these words.
Speaking of big mouths, it was Biden’s that got us into a situation where we’re just one doddering old man’s heartbeat (or third brain aneurysm) away from President Kamala Harris. During the 2020 Democratic primaries, Biden’s ill-considered, off-the-cuff pander to name a woman of color as his Veep left him with just two real choices: Kamala Harris or Stacey Abrams.
Abrams was far too busy LARPing as governor of Georgia and as the 23rd Century’s Queen Lizzo I of Earth to take the job, so that left him — and us, unmercifully — with Harris. I’m being overly generous when I remind you that she’s one of the few human beings even less qualified or capable than Biden himself of serving as POTUS.
But this is politics, and so there’s often a wide gulf between those who are in office and actually being qualified for office. And when I say, “wide gulf,” I mean, “Evil Knievel couldn’t jump that thing if the rocket boosters on his motorcycle were built by Elon Musk.”
The American people agree, too. According to that same Fox story, just 32% of registered voters have a positive view of Harris, 49% have a negative view, and 39% have a “very negative view.”
But by hook and crook, an aged kleptocrat and his affirmative action hire snagged the country’s top two spots.
Want to meet me at the bar at noon?
Previously On Insanity Wrap: Nobody Wants to Buy Electric Vehicles Anymore — They’re Too Popular
Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…
The dog with a plan pic.twitter.com/bjtRW2LMVo
— slaterjonathan (@paulsla1539372) September 5, 2023
There aren’t too many left of these dog days of summer, so enjoy them while you can.
Quote(s) of the Week
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss totally, publicly contradicting and humiliating yourself.
The Craziest Person in the World (This Week)
What in the world is going on here? Biden just walks out in the middle of a Medal of Honor ceremony as people applaud.
Did he think he was at the State of the Union? pic.twitter.com/zxVWrk4xH4
— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) September 5, 2023
Not even members of the press were crazy enough this week to think Biden is OK — watch their faces as he wanders past.
Ingenuity in the Time of Lawlessness
Crime-fighting fog hits shoplifters as retail theft spirals out of control
DensityUSA makes an anti-theft device that works by filling a store with dense fog in seconds, and it seems to work:
Egel said there was one instance in the United Kingdom where a truck took out the entire front of a jewelry store, but the fog covered the 900-square-foot space in less than five seconds.
“Once it’s activated, the DensityUSA system creates a dense fog with near-zero visibility conditions in just seconds,” Egel said. “The fog is designed to be dense and disorientating to deter an intruder from following through with their intentions.”
In the case of the U.K. jewelry store, the thieves came away empty-handed, he said: “Thieves can’t steal what they can’t see.”
Ingenious. But a waste of human ingenuity when you stop and think about it. I wonder what the sharp minds at DensityUSA might have come up with instead if our cities weren’t tacitly encouraging shoplifters.
I Can’t Stop Watching This Clip
New Press Secretary says… pic.twitter.com/6E6TwvKyEh
— C3PMeme (@C3PMeme) September 6, 2023
I love horror movies. Grew up on them and, from about the age of seven, my attitude has been the Grosser the Better. Give me the most ridiculous, over-the-top, practical special effects — and give them to me with a wink, a nudge, and zero respect for propriety. It’s for that reason that I’ve probably watched the original “Re-Animator” more times than the original three Star Wars movies combined.
But this clip… this is the most horrific thing I think I’ve ever seen…
…and I just Can’t. Stop. Watching.
Exclusively for our VIPs: Frankenduck vs. the Newsweasels
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One More Thing…
That’s a Wrap for this week.
Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.
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