Gynosexual is the freaky new thing to be and you’ll never believe what it means. That’s the big crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap — an entire week’s worth of nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.
Plus:
- Follow the science: Conservatives are happier.
- Meet VodkaPundit, the canine version.
- Is this the too-soonest meme ever?
Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.
How Long Can You Stand to Watch?
Trans non-binary kid’s content creator and LGBTQ activist gives teachers a guide for bringing gender ideology into the classroom and dealing with “disgruntled parents” pic.twitter.com/ZjBsZmD15m
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) June 19, 2023
In this week’s “How Long Can You Stand to Watch?” challenge, I did not “stick around.” Eight seconds was all I could take before closing the tab with extreme prejudice.
How long did you last?
I’m Gynosexual, and I’m Not Afraid to Admit It
Are You Gynosexual? Here’s What It Means, According to Experts
It isn’t easy being a straight male these days unless maybe you enjoy all the privilege that Hunter Biden does. Everybody else gets their own special color on that increasingly garish flag, gets to bobble their man-boobs on the White House lawn, and has the entire month of June dedicated to whatever naughty thing they’re doing with their private parts — slice it, dice it, even make Julienne fries!
But as a straight white male, I don’t get any of that stuff. I have to make do somehow with my gorgeous wife of 21 years, my two handsome sons, and the rewarding career that I’ve pursued for more than two decades. It’s a daily struggle.
As of today, though, I don’t have to settle for less. Thanks to the experts, I now understand that I’m a total freak with my own special made-up word and everything.
Bite me, normies, because my color just went up on the Pride flag. That’s right: I’m a gynosexual, unlike the rest of you squares.
According to sex educator Lilith Fox — say, how did humans ever manage to have any fun between the sheets before sex educators? — gynosexuality “refers to being sexually attracted to femininity, irrespective of one’s own gender identity or the gender identity of the femme-presenting person they are attracted to.”
My takeaway from Fox’s overdressed word salad is that there are people who are attracted to hot chicks. If that’s the case, then count me in and join me downtown for the hot chicks Pride parade.
Sure, Fox was practically required to throw in that stuff about “the gender identity of the femme-presenting person,” but everybody knows (even if they won’t admit it) that truly attractive femininity doesn’t come with an Adam’s apple or a tucked-in penis. Speaking just for my deeply gynosexual self, there’s nothing appealing related to that Y chromosome.
My gynosexual lesbian friends and readers know exactly what I’m talking about here.
We used to call men who are attracted to women “straight guys” or mostly just “guys.” And women who are attracted to women used to just be “gay” or “lesbian.” But now, thanks to the heroic efforts of educators like Fox, straight men and gay women share a single word to bring us together: Gynosexual.
Let the healing begin.
Recommended: China Is Certainly Getting Their Money’s Worth Out of Joe Biden
Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…
dog trying to go to pub 😄 pic.twitter.com/suKu5ZUByd
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@mrdavemacleod) May 29, 2023
This dog is my spirit animal.
Follow the Science: Conservatives Are Happier
AI can predict a person’s politics by their looks, whether they smile in pics
It doesn’t take AI to tell whether a person in a photo is happy and smiling. But an AI process called deep learning can “predict ideology from facial photographs: expressions, beauty, and extra-facial information,” according to a new Danish study.
The Fox News writeup said that the “tech found right-wing politicians were more likely to have happy facial expressions in photos while people pictured with neutral facial expressions were more likely to identify as left-wing.”
The deep learning tool was right 61% of the time. Sure, that would be a D-minus in school, but people tend to smile for photographs. Let that AI loose in the real world and maybe it would perform even better.
Here’s my pet hypothesis. People who don’t feel the need to boss others around and who do well themselves when left alone are generally pretty happy. People who are convinced that everybody else is doing everything wrong are generally not happy at all.
Quote(s) of the Week
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss totally, publicly contradicting and humiliating yourself.
The Craziest Person in the World (This Week)
Jeffrey Epstein got $300 mln tax breaks, paid US Virgin Islands police, JPMorgan says
You know I like to keep Insanity Wrap light and breezy, but this next item is a little sick-making.
Jailbait-grooming financier Jeffrey Epstein, who did not kill himself, was given “more than $300 million in tax incentives and waived sex offender monitoring requirements” by officials in the U.S. Virgin Islands, according to JPMorgan. Epstein’s infamous “Pedo Island,” where he made his home and provided entertainment (ahem) for guests like Bill Clinton and RFK Jr, is under V.I. jurisdiction.
In a Tuesday night court filing, the largest U.S. bank also described how Epstein allegedly paid law enforcement entities such as the Virgin Islands Police Department.
The newly unredacted filing is part of JPMorgan’s effort to show that the U.S. Virgin Islands, including former first lady Cecile de Jongh, “actively facilitated” Epstein’s sexual abuse of young women and teenage girls.
Gentle reader, I’m starting to believe that everybody in this once-fine country is on the take except for you and me.
So we’re the craziest people in the world (this week) for still having some standards and decency.
How About Some Good News for a Change?
BREAKING: Rep @mtgreenee is converting her Articles of Impeachment against FBI Director Wray into a privileged resolution
This means the House is forced to have a full vote on it within days
We might see a vote this week
Time for the House GOP to punish this weaponized agency https://t.co/VIDtHeArVs
— DC_Draino (@DC_Draino) June 21, 2023
No kidding around here: The next time the GOP controls the White House and both houses of Congress, they need to defund the FBI.
Not reform, not reduce, but shut it down like an incel hitting on the prom queen.
Keep the behavioral sciences unit as a strictly advisory group for local police departments, and transfer its domestic intelligence operations to the military.
Everything else? Shut. It. Down.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: I’ll Have a Half-Double Decaffeinated Half-Caff With a Twist of Racism
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One More Thing…
Too soon?
That’s a Wrap for this week.
Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.
