Insanity Wrap: ABC Journo Tries to Blame 'Open Border' on GOP and I Can't Stop Laughing

Our virtually open border that created an illegal immigration crisis almost the moment Joe Biden assumed office? Yeah, the GOP did that. That’s the big crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap — an entire week’s worth of lefty nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.

Plus:

Blue aquatic CGI cat creatures are people of color, too.
Joe Biden announces, you know, the thing that he won’t be announcing.
The joke is on TV comedy’s diversity hires.

Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.

This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

Apparently people are using emoji pronouns like “🐶” in place of words

This is the content kids are consuming on TikTok pic.twitter.com/XUHlqoWFDw

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) December 16, 2022

I made it nine seconds in before quitting.

And I didn’t just hit pause — I closed the browser tab. I would have taken off and nuked it from orbit, had the need arisen.

How long did you make it?

The GOP’s Open Border

ABC's Martha Raddatz: "You talk about open borders, I don't think I've ever heard President Biden say, we have an open border come on over, but people I have heard people say it are you, former President Trump, Ron DeSantis, that message reverberates in Mexico and beyond…" pic.twitter.com/kORhsTMSko

— Kevin Tober (@KevinTober94) December 18, 2022

There’s nerve, there’s gall, there’s chutzpah, and then there’s whatever the hell this is from ABC News’ Martha Raddatz.

On Sunday, Raddatz interviewed Republican Texas Governor Greg Abbott and basically blamed him, Donald Trump, and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis for the record-breaking surge in illegal aliens.

You know, the illegals that Presidentish Joe Biden basically laid out the welcome mat for, even before he was sworn into office.

“You talk about open borders,” Raddatz said to Abbott. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard President Biden say, we have an open border come on over, but people I have heard people say it are you, former President Trump, Ron DeSantis, that message reverberates in Mexico and beyond.”

“So they do get the message that it is an open border and smugglers use all those kinds of statements.”

No, Martha, you dimwitted Democrat propagandist, that isn’t how that works. That isn’t how anything works.

Illegal aliens, drug smugglers, and human sex traffickers use the open border to cross the open border. If the border were closed, it wouldn’t matter what Trump, Abbott, or DeSantis said, because illegals/smugglers/traffickers would be turned back at the closed border.

That’s what “closed border” means. That’s what we don’t have under Biden.

Uttering the magical phrase “open border” did not stop the construction of Trump’s border wall. Saying “open border” did not conjure up midnight flights for illegals. “Open border” is not an incantation for demoralizing border patrol agents.

Raddatz knows all this. She’s counting on her viewers accepting the spin, regardless.

She’s probably right.

Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…

😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/KnID4GPuB8

— LivePDDave 🇺🇸 (@LivePDDave1) December 19, 2022

Be as determined in your life as this little dog is in his.

Quote(s) of the Week

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss totally, publicly contradicting and humiliating yourself.

Good News, Bad News, Crazy News

#BREAKING: @POTUS is asked when he’s going to declare #Iran JCPOA dead and he says: “It is dead but we’re not gonna announce it.” 😂 pic.twitter.com/YjZGmsP5lW

— Jason Brodsky (@JasonMBrodsky) December 20, 2022

The good news is that Barack Obama’s vile Iran deal, killed by Donald Trump but then brought back to life by Joe Biden, is now dead again.

The bad news is that Biden won’t announce it.

The crazy news is that we have him on video announcing that he won’t announce it.

You can’t make this stuff up, folks — and on Insanity Wrap, you don’t have to.

How to Make the Unfunny Unfunnier

John Oliver, Amy Schumer and More Sign Writers Guild DEI Pledge for Late Night and Comedy/Variety TV Writers

Have you heard of “clapter”?

It’s a mash-up of “clapping” and “laughter.” And as far as this longtime stand-up comedy fan is concerned, clapter is the nastiest thing you could possibly accuse a so-called comedian of pursuing.

Clapter isn’t making the audience laugh — it’s getting the audience to clap like trained seals for spewing woke inanities instead of telling well-crafted jokes.

It also happens to be the preferred mode of “comedy” for TV hosts like Stephen Colbert, Amy Schumer, Jimmy Kimmel, etc.

But don’t worry, it’s about to get worse.

The Writers Guild of America East and Writers Guild of America West have crafted a pledge committing to improving diversity, equity and inclusion in late night and comedy/variety TV, signed by more than 50 supervisory scribes in the space.

The diverse group, which includes John Oliver, Amber Ruffin, Amy Schumer and Charlamagne tha God, acknowledges systemic barriers and a “sink or swim” culture that has historically excluded BIPOC writers and outlines some specific remedies for helping them enter, stay in and move up through the pipeline.

The late-night scene is already so lame that Greg Gutfeld’s (actually funny) cable show regularly tops the ratings, even though cable has access to a tiny sliver of the audience that the broadcast market does.

So now these “sink or swim” writers, who are apparently contractually obligated to sink, will be augmented by diversity hires who apparently never swam at all.

The jokes write themselves.

Your Weekly Dose of Mandated Unity

When announcing that “we gotta talk” about how there are too many white people voicing the blue aquatic CGI cat creatures in that new Avatar movie, Kathia Woods closed her comments to anyone she doesn’t already follow on Twitter.

When Woods was mercilessly mocked (including by yours truly) via retweet, anyway, she took her account private.

This is the way.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Drag Queens Are Going to the White House Today, and I Know the Real Reason Why

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