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What the Hell Do I Have to Do to Catch Omicron?

(Mr. and Mrs. VodkaPundit trying to catch omicron.)

What the hell do I have to do to catch omicron? And no, I’m not asking for a friend.

As regular readers are aware, I’ve got a bad case of Omicron Fever.

What I can’t seem to catch is the actual bug.

I know a few people, either friends or colleagues, who caught the alpha variant at some point in 2020. None of them died, required hospitalization, or even got particularly sick.

The worse alpha cases I know personally were my best friend and his wife. They’re both youngish (late 30s/early 40s) and in fine health. They got hit in June of ’20 with what they first thought was just a regular flu bug.

A really bad regular flu bug, he told me at the time. Matt said they were both “useless” for most of a week, too tired to move any farther than the short distance from the bedroom to the bathroom.

But being youngish and otherwise healthy, they didn’t bother getting tested.

Earlier this year they both got vaccinated, and Matt told me the shot made him feel for 24 hours exactly how he’d felt in June for six days.

That’s probably a better COVID indicator than the tests that were available back then.

I don’t know a single soul who caught delta.

But now, here we are with the super-duper-contagious omicron variant, and it seems like half of my friends or coworkers either had or have it.

That’s OK. Omicron isn’t a killer. It’s a nasty upper respiratory infection that seems to leave the lungs alone entirely.

And that, I concluded almost a month ago, is the COVID infection I want:

I’d like to catch the omicron variant, and I’d like to catch it as soon as possible — just to get the brief flu-like misery over before Christmas, New Year’s, and my older son’s birthday.

How many times have you had a mild flu? Enough times that it’s no big deal, right? Maybe you don’t even miss work for it. The last time I got really sick, well over a year ago, I got by on a rotating schedule of DayQuil/DayQuil/NyQuil — and otherwise didn’t think much of it.

The best part? That Israeli study showing that a combination of natural immunity plus vaccination is the best protection against some nastier variant.

I already got the shots. Now science is telling me I can add natural immunity without risking my cherished indulgence in food and drink?

Bring. It. On.

Omicron is so contagious that I know at least four people who were fully vaccinated and had natural immunity from the alpha variant, and they got sick again, anyway.

But wait. That might be good news.

“Omicron may be world’s ‘natural’ vaccine that finally ends pandemic,” reported the Daily Mail on New Year’s Eve Day.

The story seems to have gotten a bit lost in the celebratory shuffle that 2021 was mercifully coming to a close:

The logic behind the argument is that as Omicron is highly transmissible but milder than other variants, it can give an immunity boost without causing as much serious illness, with some data suggesting a combination of infection than vaccination providing the best type of immunity in the long-run.

It’s nice to see the experts catching up to where VodkaPundit was on December 8.

So I’ve spent the last four weeks trying to do my part to end the plague.

I have:

  • Taken my wife out to several meals
  • Attended no fewer than three Christmas parties
  • Thrown a Christmas party
  • Thrown a Christmas cocktail get-together
  • Hosted Christmas dinner
  • Taken my family out, including for my teen’s birthday
  • Thrown a good-sized New Year’s party (see photo above) in which I might have hugged and even kissed strangers

No tongue; I’m a happily married man. Is that where I went wrong?

In all of this holiday hubbub, I haven’t worn a mask, maintained social distancing, avoided physical contact, or any of that. I even recall at least twice grabbing someone else’s drink at our ’80s-themed NYE bash.

Both times were mistakes, I swear … but still, what the hell do I have to do to catch Omicron?

I haven’t had so much as a single sniffle, and here I am doing my patriotic, globally-minded bit to add my tiny slice of immunity to the herd.

Anyway, that’s enough complaining about — hang on, checking notes — having a good time and good health.

I’m taking my sons to see Spider-Man tonight, and maybe the theater will be crowded. Wish me luck!