Columns

Insanity Wrap #178: Apple's Siri Digital Assistant Goes Woke

AP Photo/Virginia Mayo

Insanity Wrap needs to know: Remember when a female-sounding voice was described as “female” and it wasn’t a big deal?

Answer: Maybe we can finish reminiscing over it at the re-education camp.

Before we get to the sordid details, a quick preview of today’s Wrap.

  • DOCTOR Jill Biden needs to brush up on her Spanish
  • Japan went from building the fuel-efficient cars that Americans couldn’t 50 years ago, to reporting on the border crisis that the American press won’t right now
  • The Left couldn’t ignore Trump if they tried (and we have the proof)

And so much more.

Shall we begin?

This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006

What else are you going to call it when the Japanese do a better job of reporting on America’s Dem-inflicted border crisis than Americans do?

Your Daily Dose of Mostly Peaceful Protest

Northam Blackface KKK Meme
(Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam and friend. No one but them knows which is which.)
Restaurateur Who Ignored Mask Mandate Beats Government in Court, Will Keep Doors OPEN

Insanity Wrap has an idea.

Instead of a partly violent riot that will get sold to you as a mostly peaceful protest, what if we featured an entirely peaceful protest that involved nothing more sinister than a restauranteur who opened his restaurant in defiance of a petty local tyrant, and then went through the appropriate legal channels to keep it that way?

Crazy, Insanity Wrap will concede, but it actually happened in Virginia.

Judge Ricardo Rigual denied the state’s request to force the immediate and permanent closure of the Gourmeltz restaurant, writing that the state “has failed to clearly demonstrate the factors necessary to grant a temporary injunction,” nor has it demonstrated that Gourmeltz poses any actual threat to the general public. While the case may yet be brought to trial, the restaurant’s doors will stay open in the meantime, dealing a strong blow to the efforts of the Northam Administration’s shutdown agents.

Insanity Wrap just shouted a very hearty “Bravo, Judge Rigual!” near two of our three dogs who now look very confused.

The Craziest Person in the World (Today)

Today’s craziest person in the world is anyone who thinks that the news media — excuse us, the infotainment industry — will give the Bidens the same treatment they gave the Trumps.

The way they dismissed, ignored, and ridiculed the lovely and brilliant Melania Trump was inexcusable. Fluffing for the awkward and cynical DOCTOR Jill Biden is merely de rigueur.

All that aside, look at the last frame of this clip.

So very few people, so very spread out.

President Porchlight has to keep the social distancing mandate up for as long as he can. Otherwise, it won’t be long before everyone is forced to admit that Biden draws a crowd like a magnet attracts plastic shavings.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: Is Kamala Harris the Worst Person in the World? (Maybe!)

Your Daily Dose of Mandated Unity

Tim Cook Will Lecture You
 (AP)
Siri gets two new voices, user choice at setup in iOS 14.5

Insanity Wrap understood that as soon as Apple starting doing stupidly woke things like banning the cartoon pistol emoji, that it would be a quick trip down the Slip’n’Slide to this:

Siri is Apple’s smart voice assistant that uses machine learning to address user queries. Apple has updated Siri over the years with more language and voice options, but Wednesday’s update addresses the bias towards using women as assistants.

According to TechCrunch, Apple is adding two new voice options to Siri and asking users to choose their preferred voice at setup. The new approach eliminates the inherent bias of having a female voice by default and instead asks users to choose.

Previously, users would need to navigate to Siri settings to change the voice. They would be presented with a list of accents and choose between “male” and “female” varieties. Now, users will be presented with “voice 1” or “voice 2” rather than gendered labels.

“Address the bias.”

Sheesh.

Insanity Wrap switched to the Britsh-accented female voice when the American one became too chirpy sounding. We do not need any digital cheer before our morning coffee. Or even after our morning Bloody Mary, for that matter.

Mrs. Insanity Wrap uses the male Siri voice with the Australian accent because she thinks it sounds sexy as hell.

When we say, “G’day, mate,” however, she usually laughs.

The point is this.

Switching those voices used to be easy. User friendly, which has always been what Apple products are known for.

Chirpy American Siri too much for you? Just select the accent you like and the gender you prefer, and you were all set.

But from now on, you’ll have to guess WTF “voice 2” is supposed to be or whether you really wanted “voice 4.”

What’s the point of spending more to get Apple’s user-friendliness when they opt for user-hostile instead?

And Now For a Brief Moment of Sanity

Ignore Donald Trump
 (AP Photo/John Raoux)
We’re Finally Able To Ignore Trump & It’s Blissful

Forgive Insanity Wrap, but today’s brief moment of sanity is really an indulgent moment of schadenfreude.

We have no idea who Erin Corbett is, but we do know she just spent 620 words at a semi-reputable website explaining how happy she is to be able to ignore Donald Trump in an article that mentions him by name 11 times, not including the headline.

If you had a photo on the wall of Corbett’s head, Trump would occupy the entire thing. The rent, meanwhile, would be in a photo in a different frame on a different wall on the other side of the house.

Here’s Another Damn Thing We’re Supposed to Be Concerned About

The New Tolerance looks to Insanity Wrap an awful lot like the old intolerance.

All emails, communications, broadcasts, bills, and just pretty much anything containing even a smidgen of Woke intolerance ought to be met with a hearty, “Sod off, Karen.”

Are you with us?

One More Thing…

Insanity Wrap Will Never Own a Solar Powered TentInsanity Wrap Will Never Own a Solar Powered Tent
(Seen on MeWe.)

Never fear: Insanity Wrap does not and will not own a solar-powered tent.

Not because we’re concerned about bears, but because we actually enjoy the camping part of camping.

That’s a Wrap for today.

Come back tomorrow for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

Before You Go: Insanity Wrap is just one of the many regular features on PJ Media, in addition to Stephen Kruiser’s Morning Briefing, and hot-off-the-presses news and columns from Paula Bolyard, Megan Fox, Stacey Lennox, Matt Margolis, Tyler O’Neil, Victoria Taft, and more. But did you know our VIP supporters get all that plus exclusive members-only features, podcasts, and live video chats with your favorite writers? All without ads? And without any social media censorship? You can join the cause right here.

Previously On Insanity Wrap: It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And It’s All Your Fault)