Pardon the Language

The Schumer-Rubio immigration reform bill is bullshit. At least that’s my conclusion after looking at the Mickey Kaus summary:

“Multiple triggers”/Legalization is immediate. DHS just has to write border “plan.” The most any “triggers” can possibly do is delay green cards and citizenship.

“90 % effectiveness”/ If not reached, triggers only toothless commission

“Pay back taxes”/ Only if already “assessed” by IRS (unlikely). Newly legalized may instead get refunds.

“Learn English”/ Only need to sign up for English class.

“Clean record”/ Allows two free misdemeanors. Additional misdemeanors (including assaults) can be waived by DHS.

No “public charge.” Must earn 125% of poverty line / They’re going to deport people who earn only 124% or less? Ha.

“Pay a fine”/ Can be waived by DHS

“Back of the line”/ Get to wait out the line while living in the U.S (unlike suckers trying to come here legally).

Border fence/ Leaves it up to DHS, which decided not to complete fence in first place

“Comprehensive Southern Border Security Strategy”/ Only has to be “substantially” operational–whatever that means, as defined by DHS–before green cards are issued. (Legalization has already happened, remember!)

“E-verify” employment checks/ Replaces E-Verify with new system. Requires only that this system be “implemented” ( 30%? 70%? Who knows?). Subject to lawsuit. If still in court after 10 years, never mind!

Entry-exit system for visas/Has been required since 1996. DHS must only be “using” a system before green cards can be issued. (Using in 10% of airports? 50%? Again, who knows?)