My Name is Inigo Montoya and I'll Be Your Captain Today

This is not the man you need to kick off the airplane.

This is the guy you want to sit next to on the airplane, so you can see how many Princess Bride quotes you can work in between DEN and LAX.

I’m just — just — old enough to remember when people still got dressed up for travel. I think the second time I wore a tie was on an airplane. I’ve long since given up expecting anybody to do that any more, although I think everybody agrees that nobody should have to look at your ugly man-toes for six hours. So put some real shoes on. And long pants wouldn’t kill you, either. But kicking somebody off a flight for wearing a somewhat-clever novelty t-shirt?

Madness. Scaredy-cat, politically-correct, cower-at-Big-Sis madness.