She's Practically Mine Already

Everything is gonna be just fine for the Permanent Democratic Majority. They have a plan:

Democrats say they still have a narrow path to retaining the House. Their plan includes picking up four or five seats that are now held by Republicans, winning all the other races that tilt their way and then taking the lion’s share of the true toss-up contests.


And I have a plan for nailing Elle McPherson.

I need to move to Australia or New York or wherever she lives these days. After that, I’ll find out what restaurants she frequents, and make it a point to wait around the entrances, but without seeming all creepy about it. We’ll strike up a conversation, and before long we’ll be back at her place, horizontal and superimposed. Oh — and first I’ll get much richer and better looking and taller.


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