The Lord of the Phonies

Why read Jules Crittenden? Because of minirants like this:

One of my minor rants about high school reading lists is the inclusion of “Catcher” and “Lord of the Flies.” It just seems off target to enshrine the more ridiculous and baser aspects of adolescence by making them the subject of “literature” that’s institutionally enshrined for decades in the only reading list that most Americans have in common. I like “Romeo and Juliet,” with its message of “Adolescent excess gets you dead. Grow up already” and “Go to First Aid class and learn to take a pulse.”

If I were the kind of guy who could get away with saying, “You go, girl,” then I would.

Well, and also if Jules was a girl.

Seriously, though, the only reason people still read Salinger is so the government can track the whereabouts of its secret brainwashed assassins. Unless you’ve got a better theory?