I Cry the Day After She Wins a Primary

Jason George reports on Hillary Clinton’s teary-eyed performance in Connecticut:

NEW HAVEN, Conn. – Sen. Hillary Clinton teared up this morning at an event at the Yale Child Study Center, where she worked while in law school in the early 1970s.

A doctor, who was introducing Clinton, began to choke up, leading Clinton’s eyes to fill with tears, which she wiped out of her left eye. At the time, the doctor was saying how proud he was that sheepskin-coat, bell-bottom-wearing young woman he met in 1972 was now running for president.

“Well, I said I would not tear up; already we’re not exactly on the path,” Clinton said with emotion after the introduction.


Soon after, however, Clinton’s patented Emotion Simulation firmware was rebooted by her crack team of off-stage technicians, and the rest of the conference went off without a hitch.

If it seems like today is Pick on Hillary Day, it’s only because I really, really, really genuinely hate her a whole lot, possibly in excess and also in great amounts. And then some.


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