The Bitter Truth

Sure, I took on Iowa that one time. But only Dave Barry is man enough to tell off the big states, all at once:

Iowa and New Hampshire will do anything to be first. You populous states can’t beat them, because they want it more than you do. They’re like the people who camp out for two weeks so they can be in front of the line to buy tickets for a hot concert, except that instead of a hot concert, it’s a chance to shake hands with Duncan Hunter six different times.

Take that, Florida.