It's a Dishonor Just to be Nominated

Years ago, I learned never to date a woman who spends her free time writing goth poetry, illustrated with giant, teary, disembodied eyes. Since we split up (OK, she dumped me – twice) I’ve hardly ever said her name. Just referred to her as The Spooky Chick. Hell, not even the nickname is very original. I stole it from the Nine Types of Girlfriends strip from Matt Groening’s “Life Is Hell.” The panel features a girl in a black turtleneck (natch), waving her arms and saying, “This interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship. The panel text read:

Woman from Mars

Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic.
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable.
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.

I took two things away from that relationship (other than all her friends) — a total-body itch any time I hear The Indigo Girls, and an enduring love for really bad angst poetry.

With that last item in mind, click on over to The Hatemonger’s Quarterly. They got something special going on.