The New Yorker set out to write a total, ruinous take-down of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on Tuesday to force the nephew of Camelot to bow down to commie Kamalot. RFK Jr. took the story, utterly destroyed and exquisitely mocked it, and hilariously commanded his own story—a scoop— that the magazine had hoped would horrify voters but instead made me laugh harder than I have in years.
RFK Jr. put his own story out on X, taunting The New Yorker, "Looking forward to seeing how you spin this, @NewYorker."
Kennedy obviously got a head's up the story was coming and decided he'd get in front of it, scooping the magazine. It was a masterclass.
On Monday evening, The New Yorker, came out with its profile of Kennedy entitled, "What Does Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Actually Want?" It touted his "troubled past, shambolic campaign, and surprisingly good poll numbers."
The magazine desperately wanted to be the first to tell the world about Kennedy's "roadkill bear" because it was a story that captured the imagination of New York City back in 2014. The magazine had solved the mystery. The far-left Independent running for president had other plans.
Kennedy put out a video in which he sits at a kitchen table while comedian and Kennedy fan Roseanne Barr silently listens, reacts, and moves the background. She says not a word as Kennedy spins a tale as hilarious as it is unbelievable.
I won't spoil it for you. Make sure you're spit-take proof while you watch it.
Looking forward to seeing how you spin this one, @NewYorker… pic.twitter.com/G13taEGzba
— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) August 4, 2024
The magazine spun it this way:
One day, in the fall of 2014, Kennedy was driving to a falconry outing in upstate New York when he passed a furry brown mound on the side of the road. He pulled over and discovered that it was the carcass of a black-bear cub. Kennedy was tickled by the find. He loaded the dead bear into the rear hatch of his car and later showed it off to his friends. In a picture from that day, Kennedy is putting his fingers inside the bear’s bloody mouth, a comical grimace across his face. (When I asked Kennedy about the incident, he said, “Maybe that’s where I got my brain worm.”)
[...] A person with knowledge of the event said that Kennedy thought it would be funny to make it look as if the animal had been killed by an errant cyclist. The next day, the bear was discovered by two women walking their dogs, setting off an investigation by the N.Y.P.D. “This is a highly unusual situation,” a spokeswoman for the Central Park Conservancy told the Times. “It’s awful.” In a follow-up piece for the Times, which was coincidentally written by Tatiana Schlossberg, one of J.F.K.’s granddaughters, a retired Bronx homicide commander commented, “People are crazy.”
The magazine lampoons Kennedy's work on vaccine safety, mocks his lifestyle choices, and alludes to him suffering from 'roid rage.
Kennedy has long been drawn to questionable science. But some of his former close friends have grown alarmed at the changes they’ve seen in him more recently. Last summer, Kennedy posted a video of himself shirtless, doing pushups, a sunburn blooming across his well-defined back and torso. The implication was that his then rivals, Trump, at seventy-seven, and Biden, at eighty, were comparatively old and enfeebled. On a podcast last year, Kennedy said that he was taking testosterone-replacement therapy under the guidance of a doctor. One of the side effects of that treatment is increased muscle mass. But the longtime friend told me, “It’s almost like he’s been body-snatched. I look at pictures of him, and he’s unrecognizable. His sense of humor is all but gone. There’s this anger.”
Oh, I don't know. That was one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. I don't think his sense of humor is suffering.
Look, Kennedy's a lefty—we all know that—but the left was hoping the article would be a kill shot for him to get out of the race and out of Kamala's way.
The DNC War Room dashed off a press release claiming the story was "a damaging new profile from The New Yorker, RFK Jr. is once again revealed to be a troubled, reckless, and dangerous man who is more than comfortable being a spoiler for Donald Trump." Moreover, the magazine reveals a big gotcha—"his campaign manager, Amaryllis Fox Kennedy, told The New Yorker that the position of Secretary of Health and Human Services "is an incredibly interesting one" for RFK Jr. and that he is not opposed to serving in a Trump administration."
This is also something we suspected. RFK Jr. is a leftist but I'll wager he's less of a leftist than commie Kamala. To put it a different way, if you're into lefty politicians, most prefer the nephew of Camelot to the fake Kamalot.
Best story ever.
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