The Excuse for Dropping White House Cocaine Case Is a Slap to Our Intelligence

AP Photo/Susan Walsh

There are two competing theories of why the White House Secret Service dropped the investigation into the cocaine found in the West Wing: one, White House officials firmly believe in the old saying, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people;” and two, every day is an IQ test, and the White House keeps flunking. The Oval Office staff, national security factotums, and Secret Service professionals have clearly placed their hopes on number one because nothing else explains the comical excuse given for dropping for what is widely believed to be a slam-dunk case.


It’s helpful to first go back to the timeline of the White House cocaine caper to appreciate the full breadth of what we know of the case. On July 2, the White House was evacuated after an unknown white powder was found. Hazmat teams were called out. The White House staff went to General Quarters, or whatever they call it when a big holy crap! moment comes along in the Executive Branch.

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The powder, as we all know now, was confirmed to be cocaine or, as firefighters said that night, “cocaine hydrochloride,” which can be used in many ways, including for making crack. Four days after the drugs were reported to be found in an ever-changing place in the White House complex (the East Wing library, the lobby of the West Wing, the area near the Situation Room where employees leave their items in lockers), the media wing of the Democrat Party — in this case, CNN — consulted the Orb and reported that the case would be wrapped up by about Monday, July 10.

On July 12, Soldier of Fortune magazine reported that the Secret Service had fingerprints of the druggie. “Officials at the White House know who handled a packet of cocaine that was found inside the Executive Mansion, and have confirmed that finding via fingerprint evidence, according to sources with direct knowledge of the investigation,” claimed Soldier of Fortune. A “security source,” told the magazine that not only were there fingerprints but “we know who handled it” and have “known since last week.” However, “less than 24 hours after” that story appeared, the White House Secret Service announced it had dropped the case.


And now the Secret Service has coughed up a hairball of an excuse for why they dropped it.

You’ll need to sit down for this.

The New York Post’s Miranda Devine reports the Secret Service told her that they had no probable cause to question suspects.

It couldn’t conduct interviews of potential cokeheads known to be in the vicinity of where the bag of drugs was found because it didn’t want to infringe on their civil rights, Secret Service spokesman Anthony Guglielmi told NBC.

“We have no evidence to approach them,” he said of 500 possible suspects identified in the area on the holiday weekend before July 4.

We have no evidence to approach them?

But wait, things get worse. The Secret Service spokesman told NBC News that they closed the investigation without conducting one interview. 

Guglielmi said, “Yes, you could have a consensual interview … but we have no evidence to approach them.” Plus, he said that the “small amount of cocaine, 208 milligrams or about .007 ounce, would only result in a misdemeanor charge” in D.C. The Post notes that even a misdemeanor in D.C. could net up to 180 days in jail.


“Chuck Rosenberg, a former U.S. attorney and acting administrator of the Drug Enforcement Administration under then-President Barack Obama,” told NBC that, sure, “they could have done the interviews, but … they have finite resources and it’s OK for them to decide some things are worth their time and some things are not worth their time.”

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But those aren’t the issues, are they? At the risk of sounding pedantic, the drugs were found on federal property, not city property. If the feds went after the person for the drugs at all, the average sentence is 76 months — that’s about six years in federal prison. Moreover, this isn’t about someone’s weekend indiscretions, that we know of. Since White House officials keep prevaricating over the location of the discovery of the drugs, we don’t know what subset of “500 people” could have left it there.

If the drugs weren’t put there by a Biden family bagman, the more important question is: who’s the crackhead on the presidential staff? Is that person making up national security or other policies? Is that dope the reason we’re in Ukraine? Was that crackhead the reason we pulled a bunk in Afghanistan? Is that why the White House can’t put out a cogent thought about any policy matter?


And finally, hundreds of January 6 defendants would like this kind of “have no evidence to approach them” justice. Phone records? Bank statements? Finite resources? Why prosecute people — old ladies, gay activists, Proud Boys, etc.  — who never set one foot in a federal building? Because of politics, that’s why.

It’s downright dystopian.


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