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Dear Leftists, There Are No Nazis Under Your Bed

Dear Leftists,

Stop seeing Nazis under your bed.  Yeah, I know, the rally at Charlottesville has proven there are real Nazis and KKK in America, and you’re all very scared that the nonsense you’ve been talking for years is true.

I’ve heard the rally by Unite the Right (a misnomer, and yes, we’ll get to it later) comprised around a hundred people.  Sources trying to make us really scared have increased that to four hundred, but I am sure they’re also including the self-named Antifa.

So a hundred, maybe four hundred, in the South, in what you guys consider (ignorantly) to be the bastion of racism/sexism/other isms that might occur to you.  … Out of a nation of three hundred million.

Whether or not this turned into a fight, whether or not the hilariously ineffective law enforcement was ordered to stand down, whether or not in the confusion a woman was murdered or at least killed, I want you to think about those numbers.  Use your fingers and toes, if needed.  Let’s make this clear: if there were four hundred neo-Nazis (and that’s assuming some of them weren’t just stupid) there, which there probably weren’t, that’s one in every seven hundred and fifty thousand people in America.

To put this in perspective, the number of people in the U.S. who believe in Big Foot, the number of people who believe in UFOs, the number of flat-earthers, the number of people who believe Star Trek is “all true” and probably the number of people who believe that you, yes, you, Mr. Smith from Main Street in Centerville USA are a dinosaur in disguise -- all these numbers are far more than four hundred.

In fact, you can’t name a belief stupid enough that it doesn’t have at least four hundred adherents somewhere in the USA.  And this doesn’t mean that we’re particularly crazy or stupid, no.  It just means that in a nation of three hundred million, you’re going to find a lot of crazy, off beat, and strange people.

However you, dear leftists, have decided that this “show of force” by four hundred people who, btw, were completely outnumbered and also incidentally beaten and otherwise attacked by “Antifa” (who must have named itself by opposites, since wearing masks and beating people in the street is the game of the fascists, not the anti-fascists) means that we live in a “White Supremacy” and that anyone saying it ain’t so is a “neo-Nazi.”

Over the last few days, my friends -- who range from soft-left to in-your-face Libertarians -- have been getting in fights and otherwise losing friendships because they tell their leftist friends to keep their hair on, and also that no, there isn’t a sudden upsurge of Nazis ready to take over the country.