Wild Boars: Our New Allies Against ISIS

Every now and then, something happens that lets you know the universe doesn't actively hate you. A break in a rainstorm just as you have to go to work, a snow day when you're sick but out of paid sick days, or wild boars mauling ISIS fighters:

Wild boars mauled three Islamic State (Isil) fighters to death near the Iraqi city of Kirkuk, according to Kurdish fighters.

The jihadists’ bodies were found badly mangled by refugees fleeing through farmland as they tried to get away from Isil territory in al-Rashad, southwest of the city.

Isil fighters responded to the deaths by going on a killing spree of wild boars in the area, said Brigadier Azad Jelal, the deputy head of the Kurdish intelligence service in Kikurk.

“Three fighters from Isil were near the Peshmerga checkpoint in al-Rashad. They met some feral boars and the boars killed the three fighters,” he told The Telegraph.

“Some refugees saw the bodies on the edge of a farm when they were fleeing and they told us. A few days later Isil started to kill pigs around the area.”

Brigadier Jelal said the three men may have been trying to defect from Isil and were trying to get near a Kurdish checkpoint to surrender. He said the refugees did not see any weapons with the bodies, suggesting they had come unarmed.

Of course, them defecting is mere speculation.

What we do know -- ISIS has a very strong anti-pig stance. Islam in general codifies animal abuse. It's particularly amusing that ISIS responded to the deaths by going on a "killing spree of wild boars in the area," as if a message needed to be sent to the local boar community.

It's time to have a ham sandwich, a cold beer, and to thank God that his creatures seem to dislike ISIS as much as we do. God Bless America.