The PJ Tatler

Infant Measles Outbreak Hits Chicago Day Care Center

Here we go

There’s officially a measles outbreak in Chicago: Five babies who attend a local day care have been diagnosed with the measles, Illinois health officials announced on Thursday.

All five children are under the age of 1, and attended KinderCare Learning Center. Two of the measles cases have been confirmed with lab testing, officials said, while the other three diagnoses are pending test results.

Officials added that it’s too early to know whether the Chicago measles outbreak is linked with the Disneyland outbreak.

Measles is incredibly contagious; nearly anyone who’s unvaccinated will contract the disease after exposure, and a small number of people who were vaccinated end up contracting the disease, too.

The good news is…well there really isn’t any. Newborn children are facing a health risk because the yoga mat moms are bored with life and all of the health we’ve been enjoying as a civilized nation. Build them a quarantined compound in Antarctica and let them and their little bundles of contagion live there.