The PJ Tatler

Lawsuit? Boehner Has Better Options for Dealing with Obama

My colleague Andrew McCarthy is charitable toward House Speaker John Boehner, describing the latter’s threatened lawsuit against President Obama with words like feckless, wayward, futile and meaningless.

But why stop at a lawsuit, Mr. Speaker? You have other options.

Why not file a restraining order?

After all, we’re dealing with harassment, stalking, assaults on our liberties. A judge could order President Obama to stay away from our homes, our workplaces, our schools and, most importantly, our children. If he violates the order — say, by jacking the minimum wage, poking his finger over the sneeze shield at Chipotle, or putting an entire industry out of business — the judge could throw him in jail.

If you insist on suing him, Rep. Boehner, don’t sue him for something that’s impeachable — get creative! How about a copyright infringement lawsuit?

After all, Barack Obama has been using the Presidential Seal as if he were a Constitutional president. That seal belongs to “We, the People,” and we might be able to get the court to prevent him from displaying it. Then he’d just be stuck with that Obama rolling-donut logo, about which Kurt Vonnegut prophesied.

Of course, Mr. Speaker, you could simply make a citizen’s arrest. The great thing about this option is that the president is not too picky about who’s considered a citizen, so the deed could be done by nearly anyone.

All I’m saying, John, is that if you lack the political will to use the Constitutional power of Congress, you’re not limited to hiring former Sen. John Edwards to bring the jury to tears by impersonating James Madison crying out from the grave as his Constitution parts with its last gasp.