The PJ Tatler

ABC News: Princess Kate Makes Pregnancy 'Normal'

I guess I’ve had things wrong all these years. Here I was, the product of a pregnancy a long time ago and the author of one a bit more recently, having seen family and friends and total strangers pregnant roughly a zillion times throughout life, thinking pregnancy is a normal thing. Not for a guy, of course, but in general. You see it. It’s out there. It literally is a part of all of our lives, unless we’re test tube babies I guess.

But no. I’ve been wrong. ABC News’ intrepid scribes Bethany Owings and Taylor Behrendt are here to tell us that pregnancy and looking pregnant wasn’t a normal thing until Princess Kate came along and had a kid.

Headline: Kate Middleton’s ‘Mummy Tummy’ Helps Normalize Pregnancy

Kate Middleton is the picture of perfection for post-pregnancy.

“I think what Kate has done for new moms has really given them a tremendous gift,” editor Lori Richmond told ABC News.

Photos of Radiant Kate Showing Off Royal Baby Boy

The duchess glowed as she debuted her little prince outside St. Mary’s Hospital in London earlier this week, and moms around the world noticed that post-baby bump she proudly showed off.

“Even the way she was holding her hands, cradling her belly, really framing it, I think that was shocking for some people to see, but it was wonderful for people to see because that’s what moms really look like after they’ve given birth,” Richmond said.

Everything from the style of Kate’s dress to the way she carried herself showed confidence, a modern approach notably different from Diana’s famous green moo moo.

So wait, Princess Diana didn’t normalize pregnancy? Kate has already outdone the universal princess on something.

By the way, isn’t she “Princess Kate” now, not Kate Middleton? We didn’t go around calling Diana “Diana Spencer” after she married Prince Charles. She became Princess Diana.

Anyway, no story like this is complete without a hired media expert to come along and give us a silly quote, so here’s ABC with Dr. Jennifer Ashton.

“I think the pressures to immediately bounce back after birth are out of control today,” ABC News senior medical contributor Dr. Jennifer Ashton said. “After delivery, it takes a while for that muscle to contract and that process takes a couple weeks.”

The princess appeared all of a day after giving birth to Prince George. Anyone who thought she’d bounce back to no-bump in that time is an idiot.

ABC still wasn’t satisfied that it had gotten to the bottom of this vital, breaking story. It sent another reporter out and about to get comment.

ABC News’ Bianna Golodryga ventured out in New York City with her son, Jake, to find out what moms really think of Kate’s “mummy tummy.”

“I feel good that she showed it because that’s the reality,” one mom in Central Park said.

“I think it’s a very cool thing that she did that rather than hiding it,” said another at Kidville, a center that provides educational classes and programs for children.

Aside: “mummy tummy”? What, Ramses II has started doing crunches?

All counted up, that’s at least four ABC News personnel devoting some time to creating this story, which is really about…nothing. I’m pretty sure the network hasn’t devoted that many staff to look this hard into Fast and Furious.