The PJ Tatler

Egypt's Morsi Gives US 'Terms' for Our Capitulation

Well, not really. What Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood president actually expounded upon are reasons Arabs hate the United States and what we can do to make them love us.

Yep…We’ll get on this right away, sir.

New York Times:

On the eve of his first trip to the United States as Egypt’s new Islamist president, Mohamed Morsi said the United States needed to fundamentally change its approach to the Arab world, showing greater respect for its values and helping build a Palestinian state, if it hoped to overcome decades of pent-up anger.

A former leader of the Muslim Brotherhood and Egypt’s first democratically elected president, Mr. Morsi sought in a 90-minute interview with The New York Times to introduce himself to the American public and to revise the terms of relations between his country and the United States after the ouster of Hosni Mubarak, an autocratic but reliable ally.

He said it was up to Washington to repair relations with the Arab world and to revitalize the alliance with Egypt, long a cornerstone of regional stability.

If Washington is asking Egypt to honor its treaty with Israel, he said, Washington should also live up to its own Camp David commitment to Palestinian self-rule. He said the United States must respect the Arab world’s history and culture, even when that conflicts with Western values. (emphasis added).

This will be music to the ears of our president who never misses an occasion to downplay US interests so that foreigners will like us again — at least that’s the theory. How’s that working out for us, President Obama? Let’s ask Ambassador Stevens. Oh, wait…

Sure. We’d like nothing better than to join President Morsi and the rest of the Arab world in re-living the 14th century by abandoning our closely held, hard fought, and cherished values and adopting those values embraced by the Arabs.

But um…does that include covering women from head to toe in burlap sacks? Damn, I am so going to miss the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue.

Anything else we can do for you, Mr. President?

And he dismissed criticism from the White House that he did not move fast enough to condemn protesters who recently climbed over the United States Embassy wall and burned the American flag in anger over a video that mocked the Prophet Muhammad.

“We took our time” in responding to avoid an explosive backlash, he said, but then dealt “decisively” with the small, violent element among the demonstrators.

“We can never condone this kind of violence, but we need to deal with the situation wisely,” he said, noting that the embassy employees were never in danger.

Shorter Morsi: We didn’t condemn the violation of your sovereignty right away because we found it politically advantageous to appear in agreement with the extremists. Besides, it’s a useful fiction to pretend the violence was initiated by a “small, violent element” among the protestors.

Ok — you had your say. Now here are our “terms” for you:

1. How dare you try and dictate what our values should be — much less demand that they mirror your values. I would rather have us adopt the values of a tribe of New Guinea cannibals than your anti-liberty, anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-human worldview.

2. Stop acting so crazy.

3. Stop stealing your own people blind.

4. Stop hating on the Jews.

5. Stop killing people who disagree with you politically.

6. Stop throwing people in jail for the same reason.

7. Stop trying to recreate a worldwide caliphate. You’re not going to do it anyway, and the effort will probably kill a lot of innocent people.

8. Stop embracing terrorists who kill babies.

9. Stop treating women as if they are property.

10. Did I mention that you must stop acting so crazy?

That’s a start. I’ll get back to you when I think of a couple of dozen others.