Buzz Ballad: The Brotherhood Muslim

The Brotherhood Muslim
—from “How to Succeed at Jihad Without Even Trying,” with apologies to “The Brotherhood of Man” from “How to Succeed in Business…”

Intro (spoken):
Now, you may say you’re a Jew, my friend,
And others say they’re Christian;
And some folks worship other gods…
It takes too long to list them.
Still others worship Marxist thought
Or global climate change;
But I’ve learned there’s one scimitar
That has us all in range.

Sings:
There is a Brotherhood Muslim,
Stealthy covert Brotherhood Muslim,
A band that seeks to bind
All human hearts and minds
Into one Brotherhood Muslim.
Forget about being free,
Just give those Brothers all you can.
Oh aren’t you proud to be
Shorn of humanity,
In the great Brotherhood Muslim?

Some men are independent,
And live life as they choose,
But when Islam’s ascendant
That notion they will lose.
They need an imam’s leadership,
Or else they’ll be done in—
Remember, non-submission
Is always mortal sin.

They’re (We’re) in (in) the (the) Brotherhood Muslim,
Dedicated to giving all we can.
Oh, we’re so proud to be
Shorn of humanity,
In the great big Brotherhood Muslim!

No kiddin’! Is there really a Brotherhood…?
Yes, you’re a brother
Muslim?
You are a brother
On the level, a Brotherhood Muslim?
Oh yes, oh yes.

A band that seeks to bind
All human hearts and minds
Into one Brotherhood Muslim
Just forget about being free
Keep a-givin’ each Brother all you can
Oh aren’t you…
You, you’re not free;
Us, we got you, you!

Hear that muezzin keening,
Towards Mecca you’re leaning,
Now your life has meaning,
Oh Brother!
You, you’re not free;
Us, we got you, you!

Just forget about being free.
Keep a-givin’ each Brother all you can.
Close your eyes and you’ll be
In the Ummah with me,
The great big Brotherhood Muslim!