The PJ Tatler

South Korean Leaders 'Should be Eradicated' for Saying Party Money be Spent on Feeding North Koreans

North Korea lashed out at South Korea on Sunday for President Lee Myung-bak’s criticism that money spent on this month’s failed rocket launch could have been used to feed the North’s starving citizens.

Lee also advised Kim Jong-un to ditch the communist collective farming fantasy and focus on feeding its people.

“Traitor Lee Myung Bak, however, let loose a string of such malignant invectives that can be uttered only by a shark that the north might spend a ridiculous amount of money for the celebrations of the centenary of the birth of President Kim Il Sung and that amount of fund would be enough to buy a large quantity of food,” the official Korean Central News Agency reported. “This was, indeed, a hideous provocative act of seriously hurting the noble feelings of the Korean people.”

The north’s propaganda organ also called Kim Il Sung “the great sage of mankind” and his birthday “the greatest holiday of the nation in history and the great jubilee in human history.”

“Lee is no more than human scum of the times as he so malignantly desecrated this significant holiday, far from congratulating the compatriots in the north on it,” KCNA said. “It is certain that he went through an ill-famed course before being reduced to human scum.”

“As the Lee group is making last-ditch efforts to seek a way out in escalated confrontation with fellow countrymen, the service personnel and people unanimously hold that this group should be eradicated as early as possible for being a cancer-like entity disturbing the peace and stability in the peninsula and the region,” the statement contined. The situation on the peninsula is so tense that it may go beyond control due to the desperate frenzy of the traitor on the deathbed.

“In view of the prevailing situation, the DPRK Foreign Ministry solemnly declares that in case something happens on the peninsula now, the responsibility will entirely rest with traitor Lee.”

On Monday, the KCNA carried a statement from the military command threatening fresh action against the South.

“The special actions of our revolutionary armed forces will start soon to meet the reckless challenge of the group of traitors,” it said. “They will reduce all the rat-like groups and the bases for provocations to ashes in three or four minutes, in much shorter time, by unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style.”

Not everyone was raining on the dead dictator’s birthday, though. In South Africa, deputy minister of police Maggie Sotyu inexplicably compared Kim Il Sung to Nelson Mandela at the North Korean embassy’s centenary celebrations in Pretoria.

“You and your fellow countrymen rightly so regard [Kim Il Sung] as the father of the nation, and you will thus forever revere him as your president,” Sotyu said. “We also have our own father of the nation, the first democratically elected president of a democratic Republic of South Africa, Mr ­Rolihlahla Nelson Mandela. I am pleased to say proudly that these similarities I have just mentioned of these two great nations extend beyond symbolic boundaries or gestures.”