California's Clown King Jerry Brown Unleashes His Special Brand of Lunacy

Not funny. But definitely a clown.


Ahhh… California. You never, ever fail to amaze. I’ve written about you before – how you resisted the tidal wave of Tea that broke over the rest of the country like a wave of good sense and allowed it to come to a crashing halt at California’s eastern border, ensuring another few years in the loony-bin. You brought back Governor Moonbeam, who has now really outdone himself in the bats**t crazy department, as he spent the past few days clearing his desk of the final bills sent to him by his equally barking moonbat legislature. It’s such an overwhelming display of ignorant arrogance that I almost don’t know where to begin.



He has outlawed “open carry” of handguns. His decision, of course, is in response to the rash of violent shooting deaths spawned by law-abiding citizens exercising their right to carry a gun. Oh… wait. That never happened. Correction: His decision, of course, is in response to his own and other leftists’ desire to undermine that pesky Second Amendment that they hate with a fiery burning passion, impose more state control, and infringe on citizens’ liberties.

Speaking of liberty, and citizens, Governor Moonbeam ignored the clear will of the majority and has granted state financial aid to illegal aliens. So if you’re from Idaho, you’ll pay full price at UCLA – but not if you’re from Tijuana. His decision, of course, is because California is absolutely brimming with money and can afford to throw a whole bunch of it at illegal aliens. Oh… wait. California’s economy is actually circling the toilet and about to go down for the last time. But it’s okay – because this bill certainly won’t inspire any MORE illegals to show up here in order to get more stuff. Oh… wait. Yes, it will. But at least this bill certainly doesn’t send a message that violating the law is okay and will be rewarded. Oh… wait.

Particularly high-handed was the Clown King’s banning of ballot initiatives from primary elections. Now, any ballot measure may only be decided during a general election. One of the few Republicans in the California legislature, Assemblyman Martin Garrick, says:


Arrogant political acts like this continue to poison the environment for cooperation in Sacramento.

I would argue that the Clown-in-Chief doesn’t allow any room for cooperation with his almost unrelenting Leftist attack on what’s left of California. Although he vetoed one of the stupidest bills to come along in forever – the one that would have encouraged babysitters to unionize, and parents to provide a paid relief sitter if they were out too long – he apparently only did so after deep and thoughtful contemplation. Of what, we do not know. He also was quoted in the L.A. Times waxing poetic in favor of parental rights:

I am concerned about the continuing and seemingly inexorable transfer of authority from parents to the state… not every human problem deserves a law.

And thus he also vetoed a law that would have fined parents whose kids ski or snowboard without a helmet. Fine and well. But before we confer on Clown the title of Parental Rights Defender of the Ages, let’s review just two more of his contemplative decisions.

Apparently on the advice of his dermatologist  (yes, you read that correctly), no minor can use a tanning bed in California. So if your 17 year old has some acne issues that might actually be helped by a session or two (I’m not an expert, but I know quite a few teens who maintain this has helped) – forget it. You, as the parent, are clearly not capable of making this decision, and you need ‘Beam & Co. to protect you (and the child on whom you may inflict “tan abuse”) from your own bad judgment. Oh, great King Jerry, your all-knowing guidance and wisdom knows no bounds. We praise and thank you (and your dermatologist) for protecting us from our would-be evil tanning ways. May our milky white skin reflect your keen insight into our souls.


It’s a good thing Jerry Brown is our collective California daddy who knows better than moron parents what kids need. Because there is no other explanation for this last one. He has given 12-year-olds – that’s 6th graders, my friends – the right to consent to “preventive” care for STDs. You see, some parents are so backward that they don’t want their elementary schoolkids obtaining the Gardasil vaccine, or condoms, or birth control pills. Some of these parents actually think they should have some say over what vaccines go into their child’s body. My word, some of them even think that sex is something to be cherished as the highest form of exclusive human commitment, and they want their kids to understand that people acting like monkeys in heat and copulating with whomever comes along is a soul-deadening way to live, and that is the context in which they want to control their child’s access to “preventive care for STDs.”

Stupid parents! The Clown knows better than you do about such things. Leave this to him!

And never mind that Jerry thinks tanning is too dangerous for parents to possibly allow, but 12 year olds having sex has no consequences whatsoever that might suggest a bit of parental involvement would be prudent. Leftism sees no irony in this, and neither should you. Move along! Nothing to see here!

As a Californian, I can only thank the great Spirit of Mother Earth, or Gaia, or something, that Jerry Brown rode back into the statehouse on his white horse (or possibly a Prius, or a bicycle) to save us all from ourselves. Long live Clown King Moonbeam, and long live his glassy-eyed minions! At least until a big earthquake drops us all into the ocean, when the real God finally has his fill of the Land of Fruits, Nuts, and clowns who insist on electing one of their own.



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