The PJ Tatler

Buzz Ballad: My Sharia Law

—apologies to Stevie Wonder and “My Cherie Amour


My sharia law, Mohammed says is Allah’s way
My sharia law, over everyone it must hold sway
My sharia law will eradicate what has gone before
We stone women who show their hair because they’re whores
It will dominate in time

If you are in a cafe or a crowded street
Halal food is all you can purchase to eat
My sharia law will force all the taverns to shut their doors
Your tipple of choice you know you’ll taste no more
Islam will dominate in time

If you transgress you know your fate will be grim
You’ll be whipped or we’ll deprive you of a limb
My sharia law—it matters not that its provisions you deplore
We’ll have religious police that you can’t ignore
It will dominate in time