In 1998, MoveOn.org was founded to encourage America to “move on” from President Clinton’s sex scandals, and not waste the country’s time with impeachment proceedings.
Thirteen years later we find ourselves in a similar situation, as our nation is now obsessing over Representative Anthony Weiner’s sex scandal rather than trying to solve our many pressing political and economic issues. And so the time has come to found another organization to help us past this crisis. But “MoveOn.org” has already been taken! So what should we call it this time?
Luckily, the scandal itself provides us with the answer. The public will continue to be fascinated with Rep. Weiner’s sexual antics as long as keeps misbehaving like this. And the only way to stop a man with that kind of libido is to satisfy him. And how can that be achieved?
Well, as revealed in the transcripts of his sex-soaked Facebook chats with attractive young progressive women, Weiner likes them to “sit on” his “big hard c*ck”:
i’m so f***ing hard right now
i want to sit on your big hard c***
i hope that’s the way you like em
And as you can see elsewhere in the transcripts, Weiner just can’t concentrate on solving America’s problems when he has a raging erection which hasn’t been sat on:
ridiculous bulge in my shorts now. wanna see?
yea. can u send a pic? I want to sit on your c*** so bad right now
jeez. i’m rushing. let me take a quick pic
awesome…how do I get it? right on here? how are you going to work with a raging h**d on?
it won’t go away
Progressive American women! We need Anthony Weiner in top condition to help forge a progressive solution to our nation’s problems. And the only way he can concentrate is if he satisfies his strong sexual desires. So we encourage you all to sit on his raging erection whenever you get the chance.
To encourage this patriotic behavior, we now announce the formation of SitOn.org, a political “action” committee to help Rep. Weiner get some action.
How can you help? Sit on it!
And if you’re a man, or don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account, then you do your part by placing these banners on your blog to encourage other attractive young progressives to sit on his “weiner”: