The PJ Tatler

Re: Weiner uncertain (And why is Weiner less certain than Louise Slaughter?)

Weiner Anthony’s latest take on the tweet seen ’round the world makes no sense. He says he’s certain now that it was all a “prank,” which by my count is the fourth version of the story (hack, prank, heckle, prank 2.0) but he is uncertain whether that’s him in the photo.

He “can’t say with certitude” that it’s not him?

Those either are your undies or they’re not. Is TSA going to have to get called in for a forensic grope?

Yet as uncertain as he claims to be concerning the photo, he’s certain that this was all a “prank (2.0).” And as Ace is reporting, the Weiner has hired a private detective (I’m resisting a double entendre with the strength of Atlas here) to figure this whole thing out. Of course, since he’s hiring the gumshoes, he controls the gumshoes. Next thing we know, he will pick up O.J. Simpson’s search for the real tweeter on the nearest golf course.

We are now asked to believe that in response to a “prank (2.0)” that threatens his job, his reputation and his marriage, Weiner lawyered up, hired detectives he controls, is keeping the capitol police and the FBI out of this, and isn’t even certain that that’s him in the photo. And all of this is supposed to make sense.

Please. As Major Garrett said, “Every indication is that he did it.”

Update: In honor of Weiner’s very predictable — in fact, predicted — move to hire private eyes, watching for lies.

Update: Flashback to Tuesday — when Dem Rep. Louise Slaughter was dead sure that the pic wasn’t Weiner. Why is she more sure than he?

Update: RCP has video of the “certitude” interview. I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 4 over the weekend, which was pretty entertaining. But this interview is much more entertaining. He’s back to “my system was hacked,” for one thing, then insinuates with lines like “pictures can be manipulated, pictures can be dropped in and inserted,” and also delivers the lack of “certitude” line.

I promise you this: Weinergate will become a much studied episode in media training courses for the next hundred years. Weiner has done every single thing you are not supposed to do to defuse a story. But when you’re guilty and have no real excuses, all the media training in the world can’t save you unless you’re a gifted liar like Bill Clinton or Washington’s luckiest man, like Barney Frank.