The PJ Tatler

Pants afire: Napolitano says 'very, very, very few' get the TSA grip 'n grope treatment

The HSA dominatrix said this at a May 7 luncheon in Atlanta. Politifact swung into action and found it to be very, very, very untrue.

“Will we go past the grope-and-grab phase?” a luncheon attendee asked Napolitano. “The machines that scan the bodies and so forth? Are there better ways of doing it?”

“Well, actually, very, very, very few people get a pat-down,” Napolitano replied. “It’s only under very limited circumstances. They do, however, get — those who are patted down — tend to get on YouTube.” she quipped.

The very, very, very few all turn out to be former Miss USA’s, 8-month-old babies, little kids and the original Don’t Touch My Junk guy, while unstable men from Yemen get on board aircraft without a care.

The very,very, very few also turn out to be very, very, very many people.

The TSA’s Allen told us that “on an average day, about 2 million people are screened at TSA checkpoints.” Three percent of 2 million is 60,000 people.

That means that over the course of a month, roughly 1.8 million people receive a pat-down. That’s more than four times the population of Atlanta.

That doesn’t sound like “very, very, very” few people to us.

Well, it all depends on your definitions of “very” and “few.”