Speculators! Duck and cover!

In the manner Obama says it, a novice English-speaker might assume “to speculate” means something like “to consume the deceased carcass of a human for nourishment”, and I’m not sure his intent with that word is metaphorically far off.


It makes one specu — wonder: Has Obama ever committed speculation? Says Merriam-Webster:

1 a : to meditate on or ponder a subject : reflect b : to review something idly or casually and often inconclusively

I’ve never read a more fitting definition of “liberal arts college”; I’m gonna assume Obama was a big speculator at Occidental and Harvard.

2: to assume a business risk in hope of gain; especially : to buy or sell in expectation of profiting from market fluctuations

Yup! That sounds like what he has previously referred to as “stimulus.”

1: to take to be true on the basis of insufficient evidence : theorize

Ding Ding Ding!!!

2: to be curious or doubtful about

So he’s guilty of three of these.


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