The PJ Tatler

Q. I’m fleeing the state to avoid my elected duties. What should I pack?

The Wisconsin Dems spring break appeared much more spontaneous, but you just know an email like this with a pithy signoff (“Stay strong!”) circulated amongst the Indiana Dems last night.

I’m looking into how quickly I could FOIA their state email accounts, because I feel a patriotic duty to uncover any material with the potential to entertain American taxpayers, and because I’m fascinated by this phenomenon as none other. I want to know the inner machinations — what drives these nitwits to think this is a real stand-up move? Do they think there is career advancement in politics after this?

Seriously! How can the guy who fled the state — FLED THE STATE — to avoid losing a vote survive a debate or an attack commercial next election? Does he really think statewide office might still be in his future?

Will he be sipping brandy in twenty years, pondering his freshman legislator photo: “It was the right thing to do, son. They had the votes … ”?

Anyway, let’s get those emails. If it was me, I would pack a lot of cash, dark sunglasses, and an Applebee’s gift card.