Holy Ghost of Socrates! Yesterday, in the year of our Lord 2011, 27 Januaris, President Barack Obama – a man of exceptional brilliance with a juris doctor from Harvard Universitatus honoris causa or cosi or cosi fan tutte or something like that – in a television interview confused Afghanistan with Iraq. I mean Iran and Iraq, you could almost understand it. They sound alike and have three of the same letters. But Afghanistan – it’s miles away and has big mountains.
There must be some explanation for this, I thought. And then, zounds, it all came clear to me. Remember a few days ago, during that huge snowstorm in Washington, they said the President was stuck in gridlock, out of contact. THAT was a deception. He was off having a brain implant from George Bush. It is in the only possible explanation for such an embarrassing gaffe… or my name isn’t Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush…. Oops, it’s Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff.