Back in the early aughts, most stand-up comics were quick to embrace social media. MySpace was a great platform for comics and musicians, essentially serving as a free publicist. Give a comic a free place to pimp upcoming gigs and we'll rush to it. I've never had any of the wary skepticism about social media that so many brought to their early experiences.
Also, unlike a lot of people, I've never thought that social media is inherently bad. There's endless chatter out there in the universe about X or Facebook bringing out the worst in people, which I think is utter nonsense. The world has always been full of awful people; all social media has done is make us more aware of them.
It isn't the psychopaths, anonymous tough guys, or the people who put pineapple on pizza who really bug me, though — it's the self-righteous prigs who take to social media every day to tell people that they shouldn't be on social media.
Spending the day lecturing people about the perils of too much screen time or the toxicity of online interactions is like hanging out at a bar all day, drinking and telling the other patrons that alcohol is bad for them. I'm sorry you're struggling with your self-worth, but I think day drinking is glorious.
Wait, we're talking about social media.
People who think that social media will bring about the downfall of the Western world should get flip phones and practice some judicious shut-up. As someone who makes a living with a digital media company, I freaking love people who get a lot of screen time, especially when it involves me. Have your kids start reading and watching Stephen Kruiser, too; it'll make the world a better place.
Anyone who wants to tell me that I'm spending too much time online should write me a letter. With paper and a pen. I'm not going to be giving any of them my address, of course. I just want them to be holding something physical in their hands when they're done venting, so I can tell them what to do with it.
And yes, I was like this years before I ever started my first social media account.
I'm much nicer if you catch me for a breakfast beer at a local watering hole. Now let's get to the bar and make sure that we're on our phones a lot.
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