Here in the year of our Lord 2025, it is virtually impossible to be too absurd when mocking the American Left. Yes, it has been that way for a while, but it really went off the deep end when the lefties had to pretend that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris had brains. That kind of forced delusion will break anybody.
This is particularly rough on me. Ever since I first stepped on a stage to tell a joke almost 43 years ago, absurdism has been the favored weapon in my comedic arsenal with which to lampoon anyone or anything. For most of my career, it wasn't difficult for me to find a ridiculous way to make fun of people. I was weirder than everyone else back in those days.
Then the world became weirder than I am, especially over in Lefty Land. I haven't really adjusted to that. As most of you can imagine, being normal — or more normal than half the country, anyway — is off-brand for me. I can't say that I'm a fan.
We have all had a lot of fun since last November's election, needling Democrats and other left-leaning types for quickly buddying up to President Trump after years of warning the citizenry that he was Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, and Pol Pot all rolled into one. I've been cutting way back on the booze and the caffeine lately, so I know that my observation about the complete lack of a fascist dictator vibe from Trump 47 is a clear-headed one.
What would prove that the world has no plans to un-weird itself anytime soon would be a far-left publication asserting that President Trump should emulate an infamous dictatorial psychopath.
Here's the headline from a Monday article from the progressive mag "The American Prospect": What Trump Could Learn From Hitler on NIH Funding.
Quick, try to make up something more wacky than that. You can't. I can't. A guy who thinks he's a purple unicorn male stripper because he's been tripping on acid since LBJ was president can't. You may even end up with some strange orthopedic injury trying to out-crazy the crazies.
But wait — it gets the worst kind of better. The subheading reads: "Even the Führer knew to support German science, and not just for war. Why is Trump trying to destroy America's great research universities?"
Not surprisingly, the author is ranting through his post-election SSRI/Prilosec cocktail about Trump's attempts to nuke the financial waste that is the lifeblood of the federal bureaucracy:
On Friday, the National Institutes of Health announced that it is capping the amount of overhead on all research grants to 15 percent. Overhead pays for everything from the cost of research labs to the expense of applying for grants to administrator salaries to the cost of filing patent applications.
The average overhead has been running at about 26 percent, and at some top research universities such as Harvard, Yale, and Johns Hopkins, it is over 60 percent. The administration also plans to cut funding for the National Science Foundation by at least two-thirds.
NIH and NSF are a big part of why the U.S. is the world’s leader in science and technology. In 2023, NIH distributed about $35 billion through about 50,000 grants to over 300,000 researchers. Nine billion of this was overhead. Shrinking overhead will reduce these universities’ ability to conduct research.
There is no examination in the article about why overhead costs are what they are at these — ahem — "great research universities." In fact, in all the pushback that President Trump and Elon Musk are getting over the stellar work that the Department of Government Efficiency is doing, Democrats never even entertain the possibility that there may be waste in the federal bureaucracy. They're that committed to fleecing the people they were elected to represent.
The attitude of The American Prospect is a lazy, "If that's how much they're spending, that must be how much they need," approach. The author is an incurious simpleton, which makes him a perfect proggie. Oh, he's also the co-founder of The American Prospect.
There's also the fact that the academic grant game isn't always based on the purest of motives, especially when it comes to climate change research. That's big business for both NIH and NSF. If I were out there doing the DOGE thing, I'd tell them that funding for everything else could remain the same if they trimmed their budgets by getting rid of the confirmation bias faux science climate change research.
Back to der Führer. It's quite the pivot to go from "LITERALLY HITLER IS GOING TO SEND US ALL TO CAMPS!!!!" to, "You know, this dude should be more like Hitler." Gosh, it's almost as if they're telling us they were full of waste products all along.
American leftists are both unserious and mentally unstable (now more than ever). They don't need a dictatorial strongman to disenfranchise them — they're too busy disenfranchising themselves with insanity like this. Let's encourage them to keep it up.
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