The Morning Briefing: Weekly Progressive Dementia Update

Hey guys!

Most days, I’m watching the news on Twitter all day. Perhaps I’ve become numb to the lunacy of the Left, even though I write about it a lot. On the rare occasions I do take even a short break, it all seems a little crazier than I remembered.

Such was the case on Tuesday, when I got some time away from the news because some family unexpectedly popped into town and got me out of the house for a few hours. When I returned, I waited another couple of hours before diving back in.

When I finally did take a look at how things were going, I was once again glad there was whiskey in the house.

An overview:

Family popped into town so I was away from Twitter. Returned to find that progs think:
"hey guys" is offensive
Vid of toddlers hugging is a white power conspiracy
Bill Burr is a Nazi

— SFK (@stephenkruiser) September 11, 2019

Here’s a rundown of each of these.

Imagine being this young and this emotionally constipated: 

‘Hey guys’ seems innocuous, but here’s why you might want to try a different greeting pic.twitter.com/3Ep4Nmjf3d

— NowThis (@nowthisnews) September 9, 2019

I keep hoping that the permanently aggrieved Left will eventually run out of innocuous things to be triggered by. Not that I don’t enjoy their misery — I most certainly do — but I fear that one day these loons will have too much power and attempt to enforce their speech police fetishes.

Also, they’re annoying.

I don’t even have feelings and I enjoyed this:

These two toddlers' heartwarming reaction to spotting each other on the street will make your Monday. https://t.co/D1FN6AxmmD pic.twitter.com/eSed92F2g6

— ABC News (@ABC) September 9, 2019

For those of you unfamiliar with Tariq Nasheed, do yourselves a favor and stay that way. But this was too rich to overlook:

Several ppl have sent me the “heartwarming” video of the two kids hugging. People have been trying to make this story go viral in order to create a “racial harmony” narrative. But this is just a Trojan horse to promote the white male adoptive PARENTS of the Blk child pic.twitter.com/e9oBBvvYlx

— Tariq Nasheed 🇺🇸 (@tariqnasheed) September 10, 2019

It’s two toddlers hugging, you babbling psychopath. But racism or something.

Appearing this week Himmler’s Ha Ha Hut

And like clockwork — if you dare to push back against the insanity of Wokeism — you get called a “conservative comic” and compared to HITLER.

These people are insane. pic.twitter.com/P0nuLPBTCq

— Bridget Phetasy (@BridgetPhetasy) September 10, 2019

I’m not sure what a Nathan Bernard is, but he has a blue check and is really, really upset that Bill Burr broke free from the leftist hive mind.

I worked with Bill once, he opened for me a long time ago. He was funny then and he still is. His crime is that he doesn’t do safe, politically correct nonsense on stage. He does real standup. As I wrote in this long post last year, the PC idiots are deliberately trying to ruin comedy.

They’re the real Nazis. OK, maybe they’re more Soviet.

Keep laughing at offensive things, my friends, you may be saving the world.

And here is a little reminder that some of these morons are running for president.

Average cost of childbirth in the United States: $32,000

Average cost of childbirth with Medicare for All: $0

— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) September 10, 2019

The replies to the senile commie here are great free entertainment.

I didn’t get fired, I quit! Or something.

PJM Linktank

Church Targeted with ‘Satanic’ Vandalism After Opposing ‘Drag Queen Story Hour’

Bee Me

Google Rep Issues Heartfelt Apology For Anti-Conservative Bias While Wearing ‘Kill All Republicans’ T-Shirthttps://t.co/PnshA8oYcu

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 11, 2019

The Kruiser Kabana

I want one in my house:

Cheese. On a conveyor belt. https://t.co/WaNQHpXURL

— CNN International (@cnni) September 9, 2019

We never forget what happened on this date. That’s even more important now that we have vocal terrorist sympathizers in Congress.

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PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”