The bad news is, the American divorce rate is almost double what it was in 1960. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce or separation. Each year, about 750,000 U.S. marriages bite the dust.
But the good news is that the U.S. divorce rate has dropped precipitously over the last 40 years.
The U.S. divorce rate has declined since reaching its peak in 1980, according to NCFMR [National Center for Family & Marriage Research] data. Marriage has also decreased by 54% since 1900.
At its height in 1920, the marriage rate was 92.3 per 1,000 unmarried women. That dropped to 76.5 women in 1970 and then declined further to 31.3 women in 2022, where the marriage rate has since stabilized, according to the NCFMR.
Research also indicates that people who are more likely to get married tend to be older, more educated, and wealthier. Experts say these married couples are less likely to divorce due to common stressors, such as financial instability.
“Marriage has gotten rarer, but better, so the divorce rate has fallen,” [sociology professor Philip] Cohen said.
When it comes to marriage, practice doesn’t make perfect: The more often you get married, the more likely you get divorced. Just 41% of first marriages end in divorce. But for second marriages, the divorce rate rises to 60% — and a whopping 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
The COVID pandemic probably didn’t help much either.
The number of people looking for divorces was 34 percent higher from March through June compared to 2019, according to new data collected Legal Templates, a company that provides legal documents.
The combination of stress, unemployment, financial strain, death of loved ones, illness, homeschooling children, mental illnesses, and more has put a significant strain on relationships.
The data showed that 31 percent of the couples admitted lockdown has caused irreparable damage to their relationships.
As divorce attorney James Sexton put it, lots of marriages were ready “for better or worse” — but not lunch. Spending 100% of their time with their spouse was a bridge too far.
Still, if you believe in the sanctity of marriage, the overall trendlines are positive: More American marriages are going the distance! And with the sky-high societal costs of broken households, single-parent families, and reliance on taxpayer support, successful marriages benefit everyone.
Especially women: 75% of women who apply for government services do so because of a divorce.
And for good reason, too: Post-divorce, 20% of women fall into poverty — and 33% lose their homes. The poverty rate for single divorced men over the age of 50 is 11.4%, which is less than half the rate for single divorced women over 50: 27%.
Yet despite the considerable cost, women are MUCH more likely to initiate divorce proceedings than men: Between 66% and 75% of all divorces are filed by women.
The five professions with the highest divorce rate are dancers, bartenders, massage therapists, gaming cage workers (casino cashiers), and gaming service workers.
And the five lowest are farmers, podiatrists, clergy, optometrists, and agricultural engineers.
But there’s one category where divorce, alas, is on the uptick: “Gray divorces,” which is the term given for couples that divorce after 50.
A noticeable trend is emerging among couples over 50 — deciding to end their long-term marriages. This phenomenon, often referred to as "gray divorce," has seen a significant increase, with the divorce rate for adults aged 50 plus more than doubling between 1990 and 2010.
A 2022 study published in The Journals of Gerontology reveals that 36% of U.S. adults going through a divorce were 50 or older. Notably, the only age group experiencing an increasing divorce rate is those aged 65 and older.
The leading causes of gray divorces are empty nest syndrome, financial issues, infidelity, health problems, growing apart, feeling unfulfilled, and societal changes.
Of course, people are living longer, too:
“Some possible reasons for gray divorce are because of our increased longevity. People are less willing to endure unhappy marriages for so long and are more optimistic that they will find another partner. And so older adults are more willing to divorce than they were in the past,” explained Rosie Shrout, assistant professor in the Purdue University Department of Human Development and Family Science. “Because people are living longer, there are more opportunities to develop new romantic relationships across adulthood, including after a divorce or widowhood.”
For gray divorce caused by infidelity, the wife is usually the one who strayed.
While rates of infidelity are fairly equivalent among men and women in their 30’s, a gender gap emerges as people age. …[A] women's peak years for infidelity are generally in their 50’s and 60’s when 16% of married women are unfaithful.
Alright, alright: All these facts, stats, and figures are interesting, but the real question is, how do you prevent YOUR marriage from failing — especially if you’re over 50?
Here are ten helpful tips:
- Make time for each other. From date nights to shared hobbies, remind your partner how much you value him/her — that there’s no one else you’d rather be with.
- Lead with your heart. Love isn’t just an emotion; it’s also a verb. It requires action.
- Communicate openly and respectfully. Sometimes, familiarity can breed contempt, snark, and disrespect — which will erode your marriage’s foundation. Life can come at you awfully quick, so couples need good communication skills to withstand the chaos.
- Express your love and appreciation. Everyone has insecurities; everyone needs to be reminded how special they are. Say it out loud.
- Be a blessing in your spouse’s life. A partner, by definition, is someone who helps you. Don’t be complacent or lazy; be the best partner possible.
- Never speak ill of your spouse in front of others. Not even as a joke. Your spouse is your ride-or-die, so ALWAYS have their back. (And, occasionally, their front [slow wink].)
- Go on adventures together. Shared experiences strengthen relationships; it helps you stay emotionally connected.
- Remove bad influences from your inner circle. If you have a buddy who’s constantly going to strip clubs, having affairs, and cheating on his wife, be extremely cautious: People like that normalize behavior that destroys a marriage. (No, not “everyone cheats.” Only scumbags do.)
- Don’t keep important secrets from your spouse. Whether it’s money, family, or anything in between, successful marriages require trust. Don’t give your spouse a reason to lose trust in you.
- Don’t poop with the door open. C’mon, man: shut the door. A little privacy goes a long way.
