“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” — Mark Twain
In Candace Owens’ defense, she’s an idiot.
Now facing financial ruin over her oddball claim that Brigitte Macron was born a man, she’s begging President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance to rush to her defense:
Candace Owens appears PANICKED as she calls the Macrons’ lawsuit a "FOREIGN INVASION," begging for Trump and J.D. Vance to intervene: "It's CRAZY that Trump has been silent on this matter."
— Nathan Livingstone (MilkBarTV) (@TheMilkBarTV) August 7, 2025
She also claims the Macrons want to "impoverish her for speaking." Candace and her… pic.twitter.com/E3OIjGcIvI
Hmm. What about the conservative principle of personal accountability? It seems to me that pleading for the federal government to save you is an awfully liberal position, Candace.
C’mon, where’s your rugged sense of self-reliance? Bootstrap and fight, baby!
But as I said, in her defense, she’s an idiot — and that’s relevant, because the truth is an ironclad shield against libel. If Owens were smart enough to recognize her stupidity — if, for example, there were a recording of her laughing about how dopey her “transvestigation” claims are — she’d be legally screwed. But if she’s crazy enough to really, truly believe that Macron was born a boy, her guilt or innocence would hinge on the much more abstract standard of “reckless disregard” for the truth.
Either way, this is a ridiculous, stupid, crazy hill to die on. But ridiculous, stupid, and crazy cases very often lead to landmark new laws.
Indeed, over the last 50 or so years, names like Deep Throat, Monica Lewinsky, and now “Big Balls” have been associated with far-reaching legal/political dramas. (Your great-great-grandkid’s college classes on American History in the 20th and 21st century will be borderline titillating: If cigarettes are still legal, they’ll be smoking ‘em afterwards.)
And just like our old friend Candace Owens is discovering, an abundance of stupidity — and a deficit of self-awareness — will get you in hot water.
This takes us to the brewing PR war over Donald Trump’s federal takeover of Washington, D.C. Once again, the battlelines have been drawn: Republicans on the side of law and order, Democrats on the side of the status quo.
The backdrop is that Washington has long been a putrid cesspool of crime, garbage, and decay. On Aug. 3, ex-DOGE staffer Edward “Big Balls” Coristine was violently assaulted by a D.C. crime gang:
A few days ago, a gang of about a dozen young men tried to assault a woman in her car at night in DC.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 5, 2025
A @Doge team member saw what was happening, ran to defend her and was severely beaten to the point of concussion, but he saved her.
It is time to federalize DC. pic.twitter.com/RPHKj7J3ti
So now, Trump has decided to clean up the streets of D.C., ridding it of its “unhoused residents.” (That's our latest euphemism for the homeless, which was, of course, originally a euphemism for bum, hobo, and/or wino. Which means we’re now working off a euphemism of a euphemism. Very meta!) The president is vowing to rid the capital of crime, so the citizens (and visitors) of D.C. can enjoy peace, safety, and security.
And since Donald Trump is anti-crime, the Democrats have instinctively rallied in opposition, joining the pro-crime(!) status quo.
The crux of their argument is that D.C.’s crime stats are hunky dory, so there’s actually not a crisis at all:
NBC News: Trump’s unprecedented takeover of D.C. police comes as crime is down, figures show
The New York Times: Trump Takes Control of D.C. Police, Citing ‘Bloodthirsty Criminals.’ But Crime Is Down.
Axios: Trump’s D.C. crime claims don’t match the data
BBC: Is crime in Washington really out of control as Trump claims?
MSNBC News: ‘We are not experiencing spikes in crime’ DC’s Mayor refutes President Trump’s claims
USA Today: Trump says Washington is unsafe, but the data tells a more nuanced story
AP News: FACT FOCUS: Trump exaggerates, misstates facts on Washington crime
The Washington Post: Trump says crime in D.C. is out of control. Here’s what the data shows.
CBC: Trump deploys National Guard in D.C. — even as data shows crime at 30-year low
PBS: The legality of Trump’s D.C. takeover as statistics show decline in crime
NPR: D.C. mayor defends capital’s crime rates after Trump threatens to take over police
CNN: Trump’s Washington, DC, crackdown is a political stunt. But it could take a much darker turn
The Guardian: Trump spreads false narratives about DC crime — just as he did with LA
Dear Democrats: Washington, D.C., is the town that inspired Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. (Marion Barry should’ve sued Ford for gimmick infringement.) In the American psyche, D.C. is synonymous with crime, filth, and corruption. Of all the stupid, ridiculous, short-sighted positions to take, arguing that Washington, D.C., is a safe city(!) is about as stupid, ridiculous, and short-sighted as it gets!
But I also know you can’t help yourselves: You’re simply too blinded by your anti-Trump rage. So, whatever Trump supports, you must bitterly, fervently oppose.
Even when it’s contrary to your own self-interests!
Look, statistics can be interpreted in all kinds of ways; that’s why they’re such splendid fodder for propaganda. If you give me enough stats, I can cherry-pick the data to tell pretty much any story I want. (Hence the Mark Twain quote.)
But you’re NOT gonna win a public debate over the safety of Washington, D.C.
First of all, it’s not true:
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) August 11, 2025
And second, there’s just so much anecdotal evidence to the contrary:
ABC anchor breaks from the Left-wing script and CONFIRMS how dangerous DC is:
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) August 11, 2025
"Here in Downtown DC where we work, right here around our bureau, just in the past 6 months, there were 2 people shot, 1 person died... I actually was jumped walking just 2 blocks down from here...… pic.twitter.com/CpvH0FjMFG
In a PR war over the safety of Washington, D.C., Donald Trump is bringing a hydrogen frickin’ bomb to a knife fight. The PR weaponry at his disposal utterly dwarfs that of the Democrats. If they had half a brain, they’d walk away from this fight and refocus their energies on a more vulnerable PR target.
I don’t know how to be any more direct to the Dems: This PR war isn’t winnable. The. Democrats. Cannot. Win!
But maybe winning isn’t the point. Maybe the point is to feed fresh slabs of juicy red meat to the dopes and dunces in your own movement, even when it comes at the expense of your long-term credibility.
That’s the fundamental vulnerability of political movements: In an attention-driven economy, hijacking headlines is its own reward. It incentivizes a race to the bottom because not everyone is motivated by the party's best interests. As long as there’s money to be made by catering to the lowest common denominator, someone — somewhere — will do so.
Such is the way of the grifter.
Just ask Candace Owens: Turns out she has a helluva lot in common with the mainstream media than she’d ever admit.
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