“Do you think God lives in Heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He’s created here on Earth?”
That’s a fantastic line of dialogue, isn’t it? Sounds like something Voltaire might’ve written. It’s wise, witty, and ominous — a great quote from a great writer, no doubt.
Or not: It’s actually from “Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams.”
Every now and then, you encounter a brilliant, profound piece of wisdom from a decidedly unwise source. It’s not quite "the words of the prophets” being written on the subway walls (does anyone under 50 even know what a tenement hall is anymore?), but it’s pretty damn close.
A few years ago, there was a Marvel TV show called “WandaVision.” It included the typical bonkers superhero plotline (magic, super-powers, etc.) but the underlying theme was grief. The protagonist was a woman named Wanda Maximoff who had lost her (android) soulmate — and then, miraculously, he somehow returned.
At long last, Wanda was finally happy. Her depression lifted, and she even tried to live “happily ever after” in this false reality. (Random thought: Linguistically, an “elevated depression” means you’re back at the surface-level, right? An “elevated depression” ought to be a good thing.) But, alas, it was a Faustian bargain. And [SPOILER ALERT], it all came crashing down.
“But what is grief… if not love persevering?”
That’s the line Wanda’s soulmate tells her, before leaving her all over again. And it’s a brilliant, clever piece of writing — ranking right up there with the best works of Voltaire (or even “Spy Kids”). Here’s the clip:
Grief is a strange emotion. It’s one of the few emotions that’s next to impossible to control. Right now, as you’re reading this article, there’s someone sitting in a jail cell who is WAY happier than you. (Having the time of his life!) Additionally, right now, there’s someone in Disney World who’s actively contemplating suicide. Grief is independent of geography, wealth, labels, or superficialities; it’s a ball and chain that travels wherever you do.
You can’t cheat it. You can’t hide from it.
And it’s usually a byproduct of how much you once loved: “Grief is just love with no place to go.”
(That’s another great piece of writing, right? It’s not from Voltaire either: It’s actually from a writer who worked on “Doctor Who.”)
Also for our VIPs: How to Talk Anyone Into Anything
We only mourn the things we care about: The more we care, the more we love. The more we love, the more we mourn.
That’s the paradox of happiness — and the horrible curse of free will. Shadows are the inescapable byproduct of light. The brighter the light, the sharper the shadows. Can’t have one without the other.
And God knows how much we need the light.
Because that’s the other strange thing about grief: In a very weird way, we want it to hurt. Hell, we need it to hurt! Because grief is a special, unique form of agony that we’re honored to accept — but only for the right person. For the right person, you’d turn your heart into scar tissue without batting an eye. It’s a privilege.
Grief is the validation of a life well lived.
The only thing worse would be never to experience it at all.
