WARNING: Unattractive Women Are Swearing They Are Done With Men

About six or seven years ago, I did PR for a conservative filmmaker who had just spent $3 to $5 million of his own money on an independent movie about the Constitution. It wasn’t a bad film, but it wasn’t particularly good either, very paint-by-numbers. But with its content and positioning, I figured it wouldn’t be too difficult to generate some nice publicity with right-leaning media outlets.

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Unfortunately, we ran into an unexpected roadblock: The filmmaker was a prominent Scientologist — a not-so-unexpected phenomenon here in the Tampa Bay area because the city of Clearwater is home to Scientology’s spiritual headquarters. Scientology owns a slew of buildings in the downtown area. If you’ve lived here long enough, you get accustomed to it. After a while, it’s no big deal. 

Like anything else, eventually, the novelty wears off.

But outside of Tampa? The moment anyone from CPAC (or other conservative gatherings) Googled his name and uncovered the Scientology connection, they’d usually ghost us.

It became so problematic that we actually had to hire a well-known conservative actor (who was completely unconnected with the movie!) to stand in and do media for us. This actor was VERY easy to book: He did Mike Huckabee’s TV show and lots more.

But while I was working with them, I kept thinking, “Aw, man. I just KNOW they’re gonna try to recruit me into Scientology! Oof, I don’t want that. Gross! But I guess I gotta be polite and respectful. Jeez… This is gonna be SO awkward!” 

Guess what? They didn’t try to recruit me.

Which, if I’m being honest, kinda made me angry. I was like, “Hey! I’m good enough to join your cult! C’mon, at least pursue me a little bit! Show some respect! What sort of Scientologists are you guys?”

And this brings us to Newsweek and a story it released today: “Women Embracing the No Sex, Kids, Men ‘4B Movement’ After Trump’s Win.”

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My esteemed colleague Megan Fox gave her perspective as a conservative woman in a fantastic, hilarious piece (check it out)! But since the “victims” of this no-nookie boycott are my Y-chromosome brethren, I thought it was necessary to include the male perspective, which is: We’re cool with it. Have fun, ladies!

First of all, learning that a bunch of girls don’t want to sleep with us isn’t exactly shocking. (I mean, we own mirrors and know what we look like.) If anything, it reminds us of high school.

Frankly, we’re surprised that ANYONE wants to sleep with us, period. (I don’t even know what my wife is thinking.) We’re really not that delusional. Liberal women womyn are relying on the stereotype of the oblivious, arrogant dude who thinks he’s God’s gift to women, but most of us have been slapped in the face by reality enough to know better.

Second of all, we know you ladies don’t really, truly mean it.

When it comes to men, women are ruthlessly competitive. They’ll stab their best friend in the back with a stiletto heel. They’ll lie, steal, stalk, and deceive. I don’t know if all’s fair in war, but when it comes to love? There are zero rules, laws, U.N. restrictions, or Geneva Conventions! 

Anything goes (and usually does).

Personally, I like it when a lady shaves her armpits and legs. But if all the women got together and refused to shave, it’s not like I’d start dating dudes, and not just because men are even hairier! It’s because women have a monopoly on women. Y’all control 100% of the supply. And if every woman on earth refused to shave, men would go along with it.

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But that’ll never happen, because women are insanely competitive with other women. It’s pathological. The moment one lady realizes she can land the man of her dreams by shaving her pits, she’ll have hairless underarms in a nanosecond. (And then she’ll hit the club wearing a tank top, stretching her arms like she’s a first baseman chasing after a bad throw.)

By the end of the evening, all the other ladies will have shaved their pits, too. There’s no honor among thieves.

Oscar Wilde wasn’t exactly a cad with women, but he authored one of the best-ever quotes about relationships: “You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

With all due respect to these liberal ladies and their anti-MAGA sexual boycott, they’re missing the larger point: Sex is just an act. True love is the music. 

Love is the lyre that seduces the soul in symphony. It’s unlike anything — and everything — else. When you hear the right song from the right person, everything else melts away.

Including boycotts.

ONE MORE THING: 

Over the past several months, we’ve gone through so much. Feels like we’ve lived dozens of lifetimes! Thankfully, we’ve been able to do it together. It’s made our journey infinitely more rewarding. From the bottom of our hearts: THANK YOU!

But our journey is just beginning. There’s still so much work to do. So, a humble request: If you have any tread left on your cleats, are you ready to help us finish the fight? 

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