This Election May Come Down to the College Republicans. Seriously!

AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar

Sometimes, you need a really clever marketing campaign that elevates awareness. For example, let’s say we’re going to introduce a new brand of potato chips into the marketplace: Pinsker’s Potatoes. (Extra salt, twice the cholesterol!) Initially, the #1 goal of your marketing team is to elevate awareness among your target audience.

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So you’d pay me to work with the rest of your marketing team, synergize our efforts, develop a cohesive brand identity, and implement PR tactics that publicize the hell out of your potato chips. 

The more stories, the better.

One marketing theory — developed in the 1930s by Hollywood’s burgeoning film industry — is the Rule of Sevens. The studios noticed that potential moviegoers were statistically unlikely to see a film until they saw an advertisement for it (usually the movie poster) seven times. Later marketers redeployed this theory for other forms of marketing, with the common denominator being seven: We gotta touch our audience at least seven times, or they won’t buy our doohickeys.

It’s a cool rule (and an interesting commentary on human psychology). But it doesn’t apply to the 2024 presidential race anymore.

The unusual ascent of Kamala Harris (or the coup of Joe Biden) changed the timeline a bit, but we’re far beyond “elevating awareness.” Everybody already knows there’s a race going on! Everyone already knows who Donald Trump is! And it took a while, but we’ve now reached the point where pretty much everyone (who’s likely to vote, at least) also knows who Kamala Harris is.

At this point, it’s not about elevating awareness but activating audiences. It’s a different objective. And it requires different tactics.

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One that’s tailormade for today’s College Republicans.

(Gulp!)

I’ve written about my College Republican experiences at James Madison University in the great state of Virginia. (Virginia has the best state flag in the country, by the way: A topless chick standing over a murdered dead guy.) Some of my old JMU C.R. colleagues have done fantastic things: Matt Rinaldi was elected to the Texas legislature and later became chairman of the Republican Party of Texas. Jason Miyares is currently the Attorney General of Virginia.

There are quite a few others as well, but maybe I shouldn’t namecheck ‘em: After I wrote about JMU, I actually got an upset message from a former C.R. leader who accused me of throwing Jason Miyares “under the bus” because I admitted to underage drinking in the 1990s. (Fortunately, most major media outlets seem to understand that sometimes, college students used to drink beer.) So let me state for the record that Jason and Matt NEVER drank underage, they went to church every Sunday, they always helped old ladies cross the street, and they are probably the two greatest Americans who’ve ever lived. (Whatever I said in the earlier column was a typo.)

But y’know what? In the closing days of this presidential campaign, an army of beer-guzzling 20-somethings is exactly what the Republican Party needs.

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College Republicans are free labor. They’re young guys (and gals) with an excess of passion. Look, I’m a middle-aged fella with a wife and kids. No way am I gonna be up at 3 a.m., illegally stapling Trump signs to telephone poles up and down the highway. Nor will I be knocking on thousands of doors. And if you think I’m gonna spend Election Day manning a polling station for 10-plus hours, sorry, I've got work to do.

But the College Republicans will.

Hey, I used to do all that stuff. When I was College Republican Chairman at JMU, we had over 700 members; back then, our school’s population was roughly 11,000. Today, JMU enrolls nearly 23,000 students. I have no idea how large JMU’s C.R. club is anymore since I live in Tampa (and besides, middle-aged guys who hang around colleges are almost always creepy). Presumably, it could be twice as large.

And think about all the colleges in your state: Quite a few of ‘em, right?

Free labor is critically important in the waning days of a national election, but C.R.s are more than that. They’re also brimming with energy and enthusiasm. If Trump (or other down-ballot Republicans) are giving a speech, 50 dudes like me might yell and cheer, but I guarantee you that just 15 College Republicans would drown us out. 

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Plus, they look great on TV. A visual of Trump surrounded by old guys says one thing; Trump encircled by cheering, enthusiastic, boisterous young people who are excited for their future says something else.

The gift of youth is passion — and the C.R.’s cup doth spilleth over.

There’s only about two weeks to go. (The Biden-Harris administration putting in its two-week notice sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?) It’s not about spin and publicity anymore. It’s about action steps: Transforming awareness into actual votes. Fortunately, there’s a potential army of volunteers who are just waiting for the green light to proceed.

So ready your cases of Natty Light: There’s work to be done.

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