WARNING: If you ever travel back to the 1950s, and a scientist begins a sentence with, “Behold!” leave ASAP. According to every single black-and-white movie, it never ends well. (Ten to one he’s creating a wacky monster.) Alas, that’s the trouble with time travel: It’s unreliable and unpredictable.
Plus, as far as we know, it’s entirely fictional.
But what if “time travel tourism” was a real thing? If it were possible to visit any time and/or place in history, where would you go? What would you choose?
Here are a few ideas to whet your appetite:
66 Million BC: That Big Ol’ Asteroid that Wiped Out the Dinosaurs
It'd be a fun one to witness, especially if you like fireworks. You’d probably feel bad for the dinosaurs, but most of them were jerks.
1200 to 1600 BC: Parting of the Red Sea
Here’s a fun fact: If you’re an Egyptian kid who loves frogs, hates his older (firstborn) brother, and is blind, then the 10 plagues were 30% less annoying. Regardless, the parting of the Red Sea is probably the most awe-inspiring moment of the Old Testament, and it looked pretty dang cool when Charleton Heston did it.
1200 to 1600 BC: Moses Descending from Mount Sinai
I’ve heard rabbis point out that when Jesus was resurrected, there were only a few direct witnesses, and when Mohammad spoke with an Angel, there were even fewer — but when Moses descended from Sinai and recited The Law, there were thousands upon thousands of firsthand witnesses. It'd be kinda fun to be one of ‘em. (Plus, if you wait a little bit, you’ll get to see Edward G. Robinson get gobbled up by the earth, which he totally deserves. Worse jerk than even the dinosaurs.)
5 BC to 5 AD: Birth of Jesus
Maybe not witness the actual birth itself — that would be sort of intrusive. But a few hours later? That would be VERY sweet. (Pro Tip: If you go back in time, don’t bring Baby Jesus any gold, frankincense, or myrrh. Some other guys got that covered.)
25 AD to 35 AD: Jesus Walking on Water
Obviously, this would be a hugely significant and highly emotional moment to witness, but visually? We’re so accustomed to super-advanced CGI; after watching hyper-realistic aliens and Marvel superheroes making the magical seem mundane, I don’t know how a modern audience would react. On the heels of David Copperfield making the entire Statue of Liberty vanish, would watching Jesus walk on water be as powerful as we anticipate? Not sure. (Perhaps we’d have more fun at the wedding in Cana of Galilee?)
25 AD to 35 AD: Crucifixion and Resurrection
Speaks for itself.
Oct. 12, 1492: Columbus Lands in the New World
From a long-term geopolitical point of view, this was probably the most important moment in all of human history: After thousands of years of separation, North and South America would forever be tied to Europe, Asia, and the rest of the “known” world. It'd be fascinating to watch the reactions from the Natives when those pale dudes with weird animals left those enormous boats.
March 23, 1775: Patrick Henry’s “Give Me Liberty” Speech
According to the press of his era, nobody could give a speech like Patrick Henry, so why not witness the most famous speech of his career? (And I agree with him: If you ever have to choose between liberty and death, choose liberty. It’s a WAY better option.)
Oct. 19, 1781: British Surrender at Yorktown
If you’re a George Washington fanboy, it'd be a hoot to witness the moment of his triumph — and the end of a long, brutal war for American freedom.
May 25, 1787 to Sept. 17, 1787: U.S. Constitutional Convention
You wanna hang with George Washington, James Madison, Ben Franklin, George Mason, and Alexander Hamilton? The Constitutional Convention wasn’t only a seminal moment in American history but was also one of the most remarkable collections of geniuses in world history. This was basically a meeting of America’s Avengers.
The farewell party would be the most fun to visit: There were just 55 attendees, but we still have their bar tab. On that night, our Founding Fathers downed 60 bottles of Claret, 54 bottles of Madeira, 22 bottles of porter, 12 beers, 8 bottles of whiskey, 8 bottles of hard cider, and seven bowls of something called “alcoholic punch.”
Nov. 19, 1863: Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address
One of the most important speeches from one of America’s greatest presidents.
Dec. 17, 1903: First Flight of the Wright Brothers
And in less than 70 years, man would walk on the moon. But this is where it all began — the moment when humanity broke free from Earth’s gravity and took to the skies for the very first time. Yay, ‘Murica!
Oct. 1, 1932: Babe Ruth’s Called Shot
If you’re an American sports fan, this is probably the most legendary moment in U.S. sports history. With Babe Ruth, it’s hard to know where the mythology ends and reality begins; it’s entirely possible that Ruth’s “called shot” in Game 3 of the World Series never actually happened as described. Still, it'd be nice to finally get to the bottom of it.
Nov. 22, 1963: Assassination of John F. Kennedy
I asked my Uncle Ernie if he remembered where he was when JFK was killed. “Sure do! I was sprinting away from the grassy knoll, tossing a rifle into a trashcan. Ha, ha, ha!” We don’t talk to Uncle Ernie anymore.
July 20, 1969: Man Walks on the Moon
The greatest accomplishment in the entire history of humanity. Even 55 years later, it’s still such a mind-blowing achievement that skeptics doubt if it ever happened. But it certainly did, and it was AMERICA that did it. Apollo 11 must’ve given Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong a superiority complex: Whenever some yutz at the bar was bragging, all those guys had to do was point up at the night sky and say, “Cool story, bro! But do you see that big white round thing? Yeah, I flew a tin can from Earth and landed on it. Then I walked around and flew back. But please, tell me more about yourself. I’m sure you’ve done something similar, right?”
Honorary Mentions:
- Baptism of Jesus
- Assassination of Julius Caesar
- Last Days of Alexander the Great
- Culmination of the Trojan War
- Modern Humans Encountering Neanderthals and Denisovans
- Napoleon at Waterloo
- David vs. Goliath
- Martin Luther Nailing His 95 Theses (and launching the Protestant reformation)
Which historic moment is on your wish list? Any of these? None of these? Something more personal, perhaps?
Let us know in the comments!
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