I don't watch a ton of TV — not for any virtue-signaling reasons, I just don't have much time to do that right now — but as I wrote last month, I do enjoy having some comfort TV playing in the background while I work, clean, cook, or just before bed. My latest show of choice is The Golden Girls, which I watch via recordings on YouTube TV.
That means I also get to suffer through commercials. Many, many commercials. I hate commercials. All commercials. I truly don't understand people who get excited over Super Bowl commercials. But lately, I've noticed that some commercials are worse than others.
Related: Comfort TV
I was actually discussing with this with my friend and colleague Chris Queen the other night, and we decided it might make a fun, light-hearted idea for a column. I'll share some of the commercials that grate on my nerves, and because this is something I think most people can relate to, you can share with us which commercials you can't stand in the comments section. I'm sure I'm going to think of more as soon as I submit this, but these are the four I just never want to hear or see again.
Without further ado...
1. Instacart's Ben Stiller "Bananas" Commercial
I believe this one was a Super Bowl commercial, but here we are three months later, and no one has told Instacart that it's super annoying and needs to be removed from the air. The ad features actor Ben Stiller and singer Benson Boone (no idea who that is — I didn't even know the other guy was famous until I wrote this) dressed like 1970s-era disco stars and singing about how Instacart, which is a grocery delivery service, allows you to pick your own produce.
All I can say is that I could go the rest of my life without hearing Ben Stiller singing "Instacart lets you choose your bananas" in that godawful voice ever again. As an Instacart user, it makes me want to rage-cancel my membership. And for what it's worth, I've never been given the opportunity to pick my own bananas.
2. Capital One's Venture X Business Card Commercial with Jennifer Garner.
I must admit up front that I don't like Jennifer Garner. I'm sure she's a fine person if you know her in real life, but I find her little-girl singsong voice and Pollyanna act fake and a bit played out. I also don't like commercials where celebrities pretend like they're just hard-working average people. And in this commercial, you get both.
Garner is a business owner. She co-founded and is the "chief brand officer" of Once Upon a Farm, an organic, cold-pressed baby and food company. I have no idea how hands-on she is, but I doubt she does as much work as she pretends to in the commercial. I'd much rather see a real small business owner who truly works hard to keep things running shilling this stuff than some wealthy actress whose life isn't made or broken by the success of the business.
3. All of the Walton Goggins Walmart Commercials
I know more about Walton Goggins because he grew up nearby — a relative of mine was friends with him in high school — than I do his acting career, but from what I've seen of him, he's a pretty good actor. I'm sure he's made a boatload of money on these Walmart commercials he does, but they've turned him into some kind obnoxious court jester. They're so annoying, I literally feel a wave of nausea creep up when I hear them.
Combine all of that with the awful parody of the 1978 The Who song, "Who Are You," and it's all just too much. Hearing people sing "Who knew" may be even more annoying than Ben Stiller's song about bananas.
4. All Pharmaceutical Commercial, But Especially Rezdiffra
My least favorite commercials are for pharmaceutical companies. Period. First of all, watching TV is meant to be an escape. I don't want to be reminded of real-world issues, like health problems. I remember just after my mom died a few years ago, I was seeing nonstop commercials related to some of the issues she dealt with, and it was maddening.
Second of all, these commercials make it look like dealing with these health problems is some sort of walk in the park, or worse, they show the people dancing and singing and making light of the whole situation. Call me a "Karen" if you want, but I find that a little gross and obnoxious. Medical care shouldn't be advertised the same way you advertise cereal to children.
Third of all, every single commercial ends with a list of the most horrific side effects that sound like they're five times worse than the disease or condition itself. And lastly, some of them just show too much — I don't need to see someone's toenail fungus or their flaky skin, or hear about what happens when they have sex.
Anyway, since my current go-to comfort show is one about older women, I'm forced to sit through many pharmaceutical commercials. My least favorite right now is for Rezdiffra, which, according to my research, is "the first FDA-approved prescription medication for adults with noncirrhotic metabolic dysfunction-associated steatohepatitis (MASH), formerly known as NASH."
It starts with upbeat music and a stupid chorus singing the name of the drug. Then some woman with a thick Southern accent says, "I thought it was just a fatty liver, but it's actually MASH." We watch her get ready for her day at home and then go to a school, where she's apparently a teacher, while a voiceover explains that the drug has accelerated FDA approval, but studies are on-going to determine if it is actually worth taking. Then another voiceover lists all the horrific side effects, all while the stupid song plays in the background. I think this particular commercial offends me more than others because this woman reminds me of a grown-up version of someone I went to high school with, but even so, I just have to mute the TV every time I hear the "Ah ah ah ah ah Rezdiffra" tune start playing.
