"If the government bans puppy breath and good yawns, I'll have nothing left to live for." - Bobby Hill
I've always loved that quote — it's from an old episode of the show King of the Hill. I never thought it would become a reality, but that's Europe for you these days.
Or, at least, the United Kingdom.
First of all, the country's Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs (Defra) has determined that the British countryside is "too white," and it's got some sort of plan in place to diversify it. Recent reports "claimed the countryside would become 'irrelevant' in a multicultural society, as it was a 'white environment' principally enjoyed by the 'white middle class.'"
Officials in areas like the Cotswolds and the Chilterns are now tasked with finding ways to attract more minorities to the area. According to the Telegraph:
The Chilterns National Landscape team has set out proposals that include community outreach schemes to attract more Muslims to the area, particularly from nearby Luton.
More diverse staff will be recruited, marketing material will be produced featuring people visibly from ethnic minorities, and written in 'community languages'
That is what it is. I've given up on Europe. It's one reason why I focus on the Western Hemisphere these days, but even so, this next part got my blood boiling: Part of the plan suggests that dogs are the problem.
There's a lot of wink-wink, nudge-nudge, beating around the bush. "Oh, people just need to keep their dogs under better control" kind of talk. But we all know what they're getting at.
According to the American Islamic Outreach Foundation, it's not that Muslims hate dogs, it's that the consider them impure. "The Prophet Muhammad...said that if a dog licks a vessel, it must be washed multiple times," they write. "Since prayer requires cleanliness, close contact with dogs (especially their saliva) is avoided to make it easier for Muslims to stay pure."
The foundation states that dogs aren't forbidden, just restricted. "Also, the Prophet said hunting dogs and guard dogs are permissible. This shows that Islam allows dogs for practical purposes like hunting, guarding, or farming," it writes, adding, "Islam does not teach hatred of dogs. They are part of God’s creation and can be used for beneficial roles. However, because of ritual purity requirements, Muslims generally avoid keeping dogs inside their homes as pets."
Related: Is the United States a Dog or a Cat Country?
So, suddenly dogs running along in the countryside is an issue in the UK at the same time they want to attract Muslims— whose extremist religion "restricts" dogs — to the countryside. What's next? Defra suggests that officials in the Cotswolds allow men to beat women just to make the diverse new residents more comfortable? Maybe they can stop letting little girls go to school too.
My thinking is that dogs have been running around the countryside for centuries, and the fact that the UK wants to suddenly change this for some kind of messed up DEI real estate game is just an indication of what a slippery slope that country is on at the moment. It's losing its national identity.
Some lady whose name I didn't bother to track down because this is absolute BS appeared on GB News recently to address this.
"One of the problems is dogs," she said. To their credit, the news anchors groaned and looked uncomfortable.
"This isn't just about the fact that many Muslims find dogs very difficult," she added quickly.
"Why do Muslims find dogs difficult?" one of the anchors asked.
"Because, a lot of, um, um, they, they don't have dogs as pets," she stuttered.
You're not fooling anyone, dear.
BREAKING: UK Government launches a new drive to turn the countryside "less white"
— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) February 2, 2026
"One problem for MusIims is dogs" pic.twitter.com/2eNnh7iokk
I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the UK decides to limit people to one dog, insist they keep that dog locked up at all times, and tell them they can't walk them on the country roads. Heck, if they keep heading in this direction, they'll probably ban dogs completely.
It's about as dumb as that Australian study that came out last summer suggesting that dogs were causing climate change or they had a high carbon footprint or whatever the heck. Yes, I'm sure someone's golden retriever is far worse on the environment than Al Gore's private jets or the fact that China merely exists.
It kind of makes you wonder — it's been five months between these stories, but that's how these ridiculous ideas start. A study here. Some research there. Mere suggestions from the government. They eventually turn into laws and ways to control you. God forbid, they go after our dogs one day.
If something like that happened in the United States, I think, at least, there'd be some sort of uprising. Based on the comments I received on my Sunday article "Is the United States a Dog or a Cat Country?," we're an opinionated bunch who love our pets more than most people, and you'll have to pry our dogs from our cold dead hands.
