Despite what the New York Times tries to tell you, our first lady, Melania Trump, was front and center at the White House and on social media last week. She showed off the White House Rose Garden, supported her husband's proclamation for National Foster Care Month, secured funding for foster youth, and spoke to military moms as a part of the White House Mother's Day celebration, during which she talked about her own experiences with motherhood.
She also honored the late Barbara Bush by appearing and speaking at a ceremony during which the United States Postal Service unveiled a stamp featuring the former first lady. She was joined by Alice Yates, CEO of the George & Barbara Bush Foundation, and Judy de Torok, Vice President of Corporate Affairs at the U.S. Postal Service. The only notable member of the Bush family in attendance was Doro Bush Koch, daughter of Barbara and George H. W. Bush. It's not clear whether any others were invited, but if they were, would any of them have shown up?
It's no secret that the Bush family isn't a fan of Donald Trump. In some ways, I can't blame them. He has said some not-so-nice things about George W. and Jeb. I'll admit that initially, this disappointed me. I grew up in an era that was sandwiched by the two Bush presidencies, and I always felt like they were an honorable group of people — or as honorable as politicians can be. Or maybe honorable compared to the Democrats. Of course, my views have changed over the years. I now think they're just about as swampy as most of the career politicians in Washington, D.C. and beyond, which is exactly what turned me into a Donald Trump supporter.
Barbara Bush has been especially outspoken about her hatred for Trump, which has apparently been on-going for decades, and she hasn't refrained from offering up personal attacks. In an interview given during her final months of life, she said, "I don’t understand why people are for him," adding that she no longer recognized a Republican Party that would support Donald Trump. She also disclosed that she wrote in her son, Jeb Bush's, name on the ballot when she voted. (George H.W. voted for Democrat nominee Hillary Clinton, but at least that was a step too far for Barbara.)
"I woke up and discovered, to my horror, that Trump had won," she said of the day after Election Day in 2016. She also revealed that one of her most cherished possessions at the time was a gift from a friend — a "red, white, and blue digital clock displayed how many days, hours, minutes, and seconds remained in President Trump’s term." She even went as far as to blame Trump for a heart attack she suffered in 2016.
When I initially set out to write this article, I was ready to go hard on Barbara for these personal attacks. When Melania spoke of the late first lady last week, she had nothing but nice things to say about her, despite the terrible things Barbara had said about her husband. But the deeper I got into my research, I realized that Mrs. Bush has been pretty kind to Mrs. Trump over the years as well.
Despite her dislike of Donald, Barbara managed to pull herself together and share some wisdom with Melania in a 2016 letter, just a couple of weeks after that Election Day that was such a "horror" to her. "Dear Mrs. Trump, The world thought I was writing this note to Bill Clinton. I am glad that I am not," she began.
She also said something that the New York Times could learn a thing or two from: "I wanted to welcome you to the First Ladies' very exclusive club. My children were older and therefore I did not have the problems you do. Whatever you decide to do is your business and yours alone." She added, "Living in the White House is a joy and their only job is to make you happy. If you decide to stay in NYC that will be fine also. When you come to the White House let your son bring a friend. That is my unasked for advice. God Bless you."
While President Trump did not attend Barbara Bush's funeral in 2018, Melania did. "It was my honor to travel to Houston to give my respects to Barbara Bush and the remarkable life she led as a mother, wife, and fearless First Lady," she posted on X after the fact. She also offered prayers to the family.
And last week, the first lady had this to say about the women who served in her role decades before her: "Barbara’s unwavering conviction, dignity, and deep loyalty to her loved ones have left an indelible mark on our hearts and history." She added:
As a devoted mother and one of only two First Ladies whose son also ascended to the presidency, she embodied the complex interplay of ambition and identity that defines us all.
Mrs. Bush’s legacy is marked by her respect for tradition while also breaking with convention. While she is known for championing literacy, she also supported women’s empowerment, changed the national conversation on AIDS, and took a stance supporting gay rights.
I applaud Mrs. Bush’s mark defending our society’s vital need for women across all avenues, whether CEO or homemaker. We have, can, and will build better families and run innovative businesses at the same time, ultimately shaping a brighter future.
So, I decided to ditch my scathing article idea about Barbara Bush. She quite obviously did not like Donald Trump. Melania Trump quite obviously does not like the people who have treated her husband and her family so poorly over the years. And while I have no idea if they had any relationship beyond Barbara's letter and Melania's speech, it's nice to know that these women have put their differences aside to show each other some kindness and respect at various times in their lives. If only the rest of the country could follow.
Recommended: The Truth About Melania
The other point I want to make is that when we elect a president, we do not elect his family. Having a first lady is wonderful, but it's not a requirement, and she doesn't really have any official duties. It's all largely ceremonial. As Mrs. Bush said, "Whatever you decide to do is your business and yours alone."
And if you take a look through history, some have played bigger roles than others, but there are several who never really wanted to be a part of that White House life. Zachary Taylor's wife, Margaret, kept to herself while their daughter, Mary Elizabeth, handled things like hosting parties at the White House. Bess Truman spent most of her time in Missouri during Harry's presidency. Heck, Andrew Jackson's wife, Rachel, had a heart attack and died shortly after he was elected, and it's been reported that the stress she suffered at the idea of moving to D.C. may have caused it.
Please keep this in mind when, at least once a month, the New York Times or some other fake news outlet will come up with some eye-catching headlines about how Melania is "missing." This tells me they're either going after her on purpose or they're not paying attention. While she may not live full-time at the White House, Mrs. Trump has handled many traditional first lady duties and then some over the last few months. But her son is grown, she has various business ventures, she's not into politics, the media has treated her mostly terribly when she does make public appearances, and her husband is the busiest man in the world at the moment, so she's also out living her life. What's wrong with that? Are women not allowed to do that anymore? I'd say that implying otherwise is pretty archaic. No wonder they call the Times and other dinosaurs.
What's even more pathetic about this so-called "journalism" is that Mrs. Trump herself has been very open about the fact that she will split her time between D.C., New York, and Florida. She has homes in each place. It's not hard to find actual proof of her saying that online. But that doesn't fit the narrative.
Either way, I'd much rather have a first lady who doesn't live full-time in the White House than I would one who has to run the cabinet meetings and guide her husband across the world stage like a nursing home employee.
