Roger L. Simon

Sabotage! Will Bill Save Us from Hill?


The more we read of the escapades or listen to the remarks of William Jefferson Clinton, the less it seems he wants his wife to be president. Even the court eunuchs at the Washington Post are starting to worry.

Now naturally, Bill cannot come out and say as much,  not even to himself in the small hours of the morning.  But the way he’s behaving under fire — “I gotta pay our bills!” – does the talking for him.

As attractive as a Third Clinton Presidency may be in fantasy, I’d wager the reality of being First Man gives Bill Clinton the heebie-jeebies.  What a crimp in his lifestyle — and that’s not even the half of it.

Of course, that wasn’t the agreement.  Back when he humiliated Hillary in public, yet again, and to such an extraordinary degree, with that now middle-aged TED speaker “Miss Lewinsky,” Hill didn’t run off — like a “good feminist” or even a moderately self-respecting human being — into the welcoming  arms of a celebrity  divorce lawyer.  Instead, she played the game, mouthing such howlers as blaming her husband’s (serial) infidelity on the “great rightwing conspiracy.”  The deal was — I back you and you back me…. and back me… and… and… and…

But that was then and this is now, now being years into the Clinton post-presidency,a gaudy cocktail of goody-goody causes, multi-million dollar corporate shenanigans, various Hollywood star assignations (yes, I live here and there are rumors), not to mention myriad private jets of the 727 variety. (No namby-pamby Gulf Streams for our Bill.  Power to the People!  Right on!)

And of course there was and is the speechifying at 500K a pop and upwards.  One wonders if at those rates he recycles old speeches (as most on the circuit do) or comes up with a new one for the occasion. If this is Tuesday, it must be Kazakhstan.  (Who’s the dictator in this joint and have you made your uranium deal already, Harry?)

Then there’s the matter of Jeffrey Epstein, the king of teenage orgies, now once more on the loose.  If Bill were in any way serious about a Hillary presidency he would have stayed on the far side of Pluto from that dude.  What could he possibly see in Epstein?  Intellectual stimulation?  Perhaps a new reading of the Upanishads.

Now the drill is that this is all irrelevant.  The mainstream media will not only cover for Bill and Hill as Bonnie and Clyde, as Peggy Noonan dubbed them in her column, they’d cover for them if they were Gilles de Rais and Elizabeth Báthory.  And the American public is so anesthetized taking selfies while watching the Kardashians that the outcome of the election is nowhere near as important as when Bruce Jenner will make that final decision. Just keep the free goodies flowing.

Well, maybe.

But that’s good and bad news for Bill.  Can you imagine him sitting around the White House?  I think he’d take ambassador to the Netherlands, if people wouldn’t laugh.  Amsterdam is his kind of town and it’s only an hour from the Hague. And then there’s always a possible posting to Bangkok….

But he can’t do it.  He’s trapped.  And trapped, And trapped…. and he knows it.  Poor Bill, a prisoner of his own making.  And he doesn’t even get to give the orders.  She does that.

And that’s the unfortunate part.  Much as we hate to admit it, even the most right wing of us would prefer Bill to Hillary.  But that’s who were stuck with now.

Keep your fingers crossed that Bill will finally step over the line and sabotage her.  He may be our only hope.  Don’t just sit there.  Encourage him!

Also at “Diary of a Mad Voter”: 

Election Coming: Nobody Knows Anything

by Richard Dreyfuss