Social media were burning up Wednesday night with questions about how to finally get ahold of the myriad missing (deleted or otherwise) emails of Hillary Clinton, not to mention missives from her pals Huma Abedin and Cheryl Mills, before the hard drive went to that great recycling center in the sky. Even the location of the server was up for grabs. Was it at the Chappaqua Clinton manse? If so, would there be a sudden fire or flood? Better move fast.
Then word came that, according to one Vinny Troia, CEO of an IT outfit called Night Lion Security that does, among other things, “ethical hacking,” that the server’s IP was showing it was located at a Manhattan office building. Who knew?
Never mind. What we don’t need now is “ethical hacking.” It’s too late for that. The AP may be suing the State Department, but at the rate these things happen, every government hard drive from here to San Diego could be at the bottom of the Mariana Trench before there’s even a deposition taken. We need the real deal. Someone who can get it done now. We need — Guccifer!
Trouble is, the dude’s languishing in a Bucharest prison. But to recapitulate, if there’s someone who can get into a Clinton server, Guccifer (aka Marc-Lehel Lazar) is the man. He’s the one who broke the Sidney Blumenthal email code — intercepting missives between Hillary and the ever-charming Sid with such subtle headings as the all-caps “THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION COMES FROM EXTREMELY SENSITIVE SOURCES AND SHOULD BE HANDLED WITH CARE.”
As Hillary would say — nothing to do with national security. Ditto for Sid’s other emails to Hill that dealt with such other minor matters as Libya, Benghazi and the Muslim Brotherhood. (Was Huma snooping?)
And speaking of Benghazi, ol’ Gucc probably knows more about the “Benghazi Group” — those other charmers led by Cheryl Mills and Philippe Reines that Judicial Watch has discovered were tasked with keeping a lid on the cover-upsky — than even Catherine Herridge at Fox (to whom we Americans owe a huge debt of gratitude, by the way). In fact he apparently has more emails relating to the subject known only to him and guess who…? Yes, the Russians. You were right the first time. You win the reset button.
But relax. As Hillary assured us at her press conference, her emails had nothing to do with national security. They were about yoga lessons. (I hope they weren’t free. That would be a conflict of interest.) I mean the secretary of state is a ceremonial job, right? Look at John Kerry. What does he do? The Iran deal isn’t even a deal, they’re telling us now. It’s a “non-binding” agreement, whatever that is. (I knew with Kerry it would have something to do with skiing… or maybe para-sailing.)
Anyway, I don’t want any of you to get ideas. I’m not intending to Free Guccifer myself. I don’t approve of these radical movements to let out convicted felons. I always opposed Free Mumia. But if any of you want to do it, I’m not stopping you. I’ll even contribute a little to your flight to Romania — maybe for the extra bags you’ll need (for the prison crowbars). And who knows…. free Guccifer and you could get a big haul. As we all know, it’s not just Hillary’s emails that have gone missing.
(Artwork based on a modified Shutterstock.com image.)