Roger L. Simon

Ebola? It's the VIDEO!


How could it be otherwise? Who else but Susan Rice should the new Ebola czar be reporting to? After all, as we all know, there would not be such a disease were it not for that noxious video.

You know the one I mean — the one that shows a Tea Party member covertly implanting the virus in Darkest Africa so no one would suspect they were really planning on exporting it to the USA.

Didn’t you always wonder what happened to Andrew Breitbart, how he died so young? He’s still alive, secretly spreading the disease to hurt Barack Obama’s poll numbers. Not only that — he’s behind ISIS. Haven’t you seen their videos? Way too professional to be made in Araby. And all that social media manipulation? How’re they doing that? Definitely Breitbart.

Susan Rice will reveal all this on the Sunday shows, as she always does. The truth at last.

All those liberals and progressives who were worried their hero had run off the rails should relax. The Daily News should buy up all those editions with the GET A GRIP headline and burn them. Everything is back in order. Susan Rice is on the case.

And all you people that think the Obama administration is too insular, chill. How many real friends do you have? Most people have three or four at most, same as Barack. He’s got Valerie, Susan and… well, Michelle. Sometimes, anyway. That’s enough. More people gets confusing. We all know the expression “too many cooks….”

And just because the new “Ebola czar” doesn’t know anything about medicine shouldn’t concern you. I mean — he’s an organizer, right? When you have a coronary or cancer, who do you go to — a doctor or an organizer? Don’t be stupid. You go to an organizer. Forget getting better, if those insurance payments don’t come through. You might as well be dead.

So give this administration a break. They may seem clueless and maybe a little dishonest, but they really have your best interests at heart. Or somebody’s.

And remember, if you get on a plane this holiday season and someone in a dashiki starts vomiting, stay calm. Remember that our president thinks it’s insulting to West Africans that we might close our borders to sick people from their countries for a while. Never mind that we could then spend more money on their care and send more doctors to them that way. It’s the thought that counts. Or something.

But most of all, recite to yourself — Susan Rice is in charge of Ebola. Everything’s going to be fine. It’s just like Benghazi. It’s all about the video — only this time we’re all Ambassador Stevens.

(Artwork created using multiple images.)