Confessions of a Flip-Flopper
Please do not link to this article or pass it around to your friends, unless you really must. And please, no Twitter or Facebook. It’s all quite embarrassing.
Nevertheless, I no longer in good conscience can withhold this information. In the grand tradition of the father of our country, I cannot tell a lie.
I have been -- and still am, on occasion, alas -- a flip-flopper.
Indeed, if I were to be under subpoena by a House committee and asked the eternal question: “Are you now or have you ever been a flip-flopper?” I would -- under penalty of perjury -- have no recourse but to answer, “Yes. Yes, Congresswoman Pelosi [or whoever], I have. I have done it many times. Sometimes I just…. change my mind.”
In truth, I have been flip and flopping from a very young age. I had been gobbling M&M's when I went to Raisinets as my candy of choice. I drifted from Howdy Doody to Captain Video as my favorite television show without so much as notifying the network. I was a highly unreliable fellow, not even faithful to Clarabel.
It went on from there. In junior high school I switched girl friends. And even worse, they switched on me. I went from basketball to tennis as my favorite sport. (Okay, I was too short for the former.)
It was a downhill slide into college where I couldn’t make up my mind between Hemingway and Fitzgerald, and then Balzac and Flaubert, as my favorite author. I even considered changing majors from English to Comp. Lit.
My senior year I flirted with a career in the CIA while, at the same time, participating in anti-bomb demonstrations on campus.
Talk about flip-flopping!
Maybe I should have changed my middle initial from L. to I. Roger Inconsistent Simon.
In my adult life I have been a disgraced muddle of thought. I waffle on everything from preferred cuisine (Japanese or Italian?) to the existence of God.
Which leads, of course, and you knew this was coming, to politics.
Article printed from Roger L. Simon: https://pjmedia.com/rogerlsimon
URL to article: https://pjmedia.com/rogerlsimon/2011/11/21/confessions-of-a-flip-flopper