Roger L. Simon

Attention, Barack: Kobe & Lebron vs. Ahmadinejad & Kim-Jong Il

I admit it. I too often criticize Barack Obama – and perhaps unfairly. I guess I dislike windy cliches even more when they are well-delivered.

But there is one thing I share with our president: We are both hoops fans and we are both watching the NBA playoffs, which are pretty exciting this year.

Now Obama has a problem with Iran and North Korea. He keeps wanting to talk-the-talk with Ahmadinejad, but the Iranian president keeps rebuffing him, insisting Iran’s nuclear ambitions are off the table. He wants to debate Obama at the UN instead. (That wouldn’t outdraw a decent episode of Top Chef). Meanwhile, it’s even worse with the Norks. They’re blowing up nukes without even letting us know first. No fair. Time out. Call David Stern. Obviously something’s not working here.

So I propose a different solution. Kobe & Lebron vs. Ahamdinejad & Kim Jong-Il. Yes, I know Denver and Orlando are still in the hunt, but two-on-two these are clearly our best guys. And, okay, I can see the Iranians and the North Koreans complaining. They’ve got leaders whose average height is (generously) about five-three, so let’s allow them any one citizen of their countries of their choice. I know there aren’t any homosexuals in Iran, but surely they have someone over six-six. And doesn’t Yao Ming have a North Korean cousin?

Anyway, two-on-two for all the marbles. We win, no more nukes for North Korea or Iran. They win, we leave them alone (for now). Go ahead – scoff. But I think it’s a better solution than Obama has proposed so far.