Roger L. Simon

A Modest Proposal for Secretary General of the United Nations

I know many are bandying about our ex-president Bill C. for the top spot at the UN when it comes open at the end of the year. And with all those nice-looking translators sashaying around the Economic and Social Council in their sarongs, he does seem a logical choice. But realizing now the United Nations has no real intention of making any serious reforms and having read Kofi Annan’s defense of his deputy Malloch Brown, I humbly submit a candidate for Secretary General of the United Nations who would fit in better at Turtle Bay than anyone I could think of, who may be perfect for the job – Jack Abramoff. Now I know Mr. Abramoff has some strikes against him, but perhaps we could get him some diplomatic immunity. And if anyone could finally figure out what happened with Oil-for-Food, it’s Jack.