Roger L. Simon

Stop the Mean Sisters - A Political Movement (?)

My home state used to be identified by surf bunnies runnin’ on the beach and maybe some hippie stoners wandering around lost in Laurel Canyon. Okay, we had to live with all those jokes about the fruits and nuts ending up in California, but it was cool. I mean – everyone made fun of us, but who didn’t really want to be here? Just ask Mama Cass (if you can find her).

Nowadays, however, everything’s changed. The good vibrations are nicht so gut anymore. The scene is dominated by the bleakness twins — Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer. Those Sisters of Mean can put a downer on everything, know what I’m sayin’? Well, maybe not the bank account of a half dozen or so Beverly Hills plastic surgeons, but everybody else. And this has been going on for too long. It’s getting so serious I’m in danger of having my Frank Zappa MP3s erased. (No wonder the Lakers are losing. People blame it on Kobe and Shaq, but imagine those two ladies courtside!)

So since the Democratic Party doesn’t seem about to rectify the situation by at least nominating a blogger for the Senate, I have a suggestion where Ms. Boxer is concerned. (Sorry, but finding someone interesting in California to run for Congress ain’t happening. Too small change.) Once in a blue moon the Republican Party in this state wakes up and stops running ciphers with forgettable names, remembers where they’re living and nominates someone from the home town industry – show biz, dude. It got them the Governorship, as we all know. Time to move on to the Senate!

Yes, I’m still a registered Democrat (believe it or not) and it’s none of my business, except that I’m tired of that Mean Sisters’ reign. So the campaign starts here: BRUCE WILLIS FOR SENATE. Yes, I know Bruce has a checkered past, but we all do. Still he’s funny, he’s smart and, hey, now even the French like him. (Okay, maybe that’s not such a great recommendation, but I was following the law of threes.)

Say it loud and say it proud: BRUCE FOR SENATE.