Old Joe Biden Has Never Told a WEIRDER Story Than This One

AP Photo/Susan Walsh

Old Joe Biden has been in politics for over half a century, and before the onset of his dementia, he could be a fluid and occasionally effective public speaker, although he was never as charming or compelling as he clearly believed himself to be. But as he has aged, the doddering corruptocrat who pretends to be president of the United States has lost whatever ability he ever had to move an audience.


Now, more often than not, he tries for an emotional effect and only manages to come off as weird, as with his bizarre habit of whispering points he wants to give particular emphasis. But Old Joe has never been weirder than he was on Tuesday in Virginia Beach, where he was supposed to be reading off the teleprompter an address about affordable healthcare, but took the opportunity to embark on a bizarre ramble about a nurse he had when he suffered two brain aneurysms in 1988.

Biden started on the path to his ramble by saying, “And, by the way, you docs are good, but if there’s any angels in Heaven, they’re all nurses — male and female. You know why? You guys let us — you guys make us — allow us to live. Nurses make you want to live. I’m not joking.” Usually when Old Joe assures us he is “not joking,” he is lying, but in this case that’s a perfectly reasonable gambit when speaking about healthcare: praise nurses. It’s especially canny of the old campaigner, since although he went out of his way to point out that nurses are both male and female, they’re mostly female, and so he managed to pander to his feminist base by slighting doctors, who are mostly male, and praising the women in the field.

Old Joe continued, “You lie there in the ICU, which I’ve done for a long time, and you look at those machines. And you know, if the line goes flat, that it’s over. But you just get tired. You don’t care.” But then Biden remembered the woman who made him care again. Not “Doctor” Jill, but a nurse: “When I was at Walter Reed all that time, after a couple of craniotomies, I was lying there. And I had a nurse named Pearl Nelson, military. She’d come in and do things that I don’t think you learn in medical scho— in nursing school.” The sympathetic crowd laughed and applauded at that for some reason as Joe plowed on: “She’d whisper in my ear. I didn’t — couldn’t understand her, but she’d whisper, and she’d lean down. She’d actually breathe on me to make sure that I was — there was a connection, a human connection.” Pearl Nelson deserves kudos indeed: after all, who would voluntarily want to breathe on Joe Biden?


The intrepid nurse wasn’t finished. Biden added that “she even went home and brought back her pillow from her own bed because they didn’t — knew the one I had wasn’t comfortable.” Was there only one pillow at Walter Reed Hospital? In any case, Biden followed this up with another assurance that he was “not joking,” as if anyone would think that he was. If anything, the people in the audience at Virginia Beach’s Kempsville Recreation Center were scratching their heads and wondering what this odd and downright creepy story actually meant. Pearl Nelson breathed on Biden, so as to give him a human connection? Where was his wife? Where were his children? Why weren’t they providing any human connection? Why not just hold Old Joe’s hand or give him a pat on the arm for a human connection, rather than breathe on him?

But as strange as it is, this is a story that Biden apparently likes to tell. When he told it in July 2020, he gave the impression that there was more than one nurse who took on Breathing-On-Joe Duty: “I had nurses at Walter Reed hospital who would bend down and whisper in my ear, go home and get me pillows. They would…actually breathe in my nostrils to make me move, to get me moving.” One nurse responded, “That’s a new one. 35 years in nursing and I stayed as far away from patients’ nostrils as I could. I think after surgery on brain aneurysms We all might remember things that didn’t happen or it’s simply MisRemembered. I can’t comprehend the pillow comment. I wouldn’t share.” Another agreed: “Ok, this is really weird. I’ve been a practicing RN for decades. I have worked all levels of Critical Care with very seriously ill people and children. I have NEVER breathed into a patient’s nostrils to ‘get them going’. He is nuts.” Can’t argue with that.


Related: Does Joe Biden Know His Son Beau Did NOT Die in Iraq?

In Virginia Beach Tuesday, it all just turned out to be a prelude to a story about his son Beau, who actually didn’t die in Iraq this time. But he did contract cancer there, according to Joe, “and for 18 months, he fought. And the nurses — the docs were incredible. But the nurses would say — toward the end, they’d come in to look at him and they’d say, ‘No, no. Not — not now, Doc.’ And the doctors knew enough to know that it wasn’t the time. The nurse didn’t think it was there.” They didn’t think what was there? It wasn’t the time for what? Was Beau going to be euthanized? If he had any details that could have shed light on this bizarre statement, Old Joe didn’t share them.

Who knows? Maybe Pearl Nelson’s loving care saved Old Joe’s life, and bequeathed to us this dumpster-fire gallop toward socialist internationalism known as the Biden administration. The evil men do lives after them, as Shakespeare says, but Ms. Nelson, of course, was just doing her duty. What Biden has done since he returned to the pink of health is entirely his responsibility.


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